


With You In Spirit

by AislinMarue



Series: Destiel - Castiel/Dean Winchester [67]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Blood and Gore, Book Store Owner!Castiel, Bullying, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ghost!Dean Winchester, M/M, Period Typical Homophobia, Protective!Dean Winchester, The Major Character Death warning will be resolved!!, The underage warning is for a very brief scene, hurt!castiel, out of body experience
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2018-05-17 15:47:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 25,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5876605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AislinMarue/pseuds/AislinMarue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the year 1851, Dean Winchester was killed because he dared to love James Novak. His spirit lingers on Earth, however, in the very city in which he was murdered. Decades after his death, he meets a child who can see and speak to him. One that will completely change his afterlife: Castiel Novak.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dying for love.

**Author's Note:**

> I suppose this could be considered a Ghost Whisperer sort of crossover? I promise to elaborate more in later chapters. This first chapter does contain the period typical homophobia I mentioned in the tags so please be warned about that. The MCD also occurs in this chapter, but obviously is far from the end of this tale. I hope you'll enjoy it. :)

**1851**

The crowd was in an uproar in the town square.

A man was led forward by two burly men, one on either side of him. His hands were bound behind his back and a burlap sack was over his head.

Vision obscured as it was, all he could hear were the shouts and jeers of the people gathered. Obscenities among other things were all thrown at him along with the promise that he would surely burn in Hell for his actions. 

Hell had to be better than here, he thought to himself, while the two men guiding him took him up a set of stairs onto a wooden platform. 

Suddenly, the sack was removed and he had to squint as his green eyes adjusted to the bright sunlight. When he could see clearly, he saw the filled square, the people that had been his neighbors cheering on his death sentence. This was a lynch mob. There was nothing else it could be called.

Father Alistair relished it, judging by the look on his face as he spoke of hellfire and damnation. The punishment for his supposed crimes. All because he'd dared to love another man more than himself. A man who was nowhere in sight thanks to his family shipping him out of town as soon as their romance came to light. Or so he thought. 

He didn't fault his lover, however. Indeed, his heart still ached with how much love he carried. Even then, facing his prosecutors with the bright midday sun shining down on him, he was filled with warmth at the thought of those bright blue eyes and his lover’s sweet smile. He'd never see them again. 

That made tears form and fall. Not the thought of death or what came after. But the knowledge that somewhere, his lover was safe, yet had no idea he was about to die for him. For what they'd shared together. 

“Dean Winchester. You've been found guilty in the eyes of these good Christian people of the crime of sodomy. What have you to say for yourself before we carry out your sentence?” Alistair smirked at him, his back to the crowd.

Dean met his gaze defiantly and spoke loudly enough that his voice would carry as the noose was put around his neck. “My name is Dean Michael Winchester and I will love James Andrew Novak with all my heart in life and in death. Nothing you do here today will stop that.”

His declaration was met with more shouting, every face in the crowd filled with anger and disgust after hearing him speak.

Dean didn't care though. He spoke the truth and would stand by it.

“Then I hereby condemn you to the fiery pit. May God have mercy on your soul,” Alistair said, nodding to one of the men in the background. 

Dean heard him, but his eyes were fixed on the one face in the crowd that wasn't looking at him in anger or hatred. 

There at the back of the square, hat pulled down low, a pair of tear-filled blue eyes watched. Dean didn't even mind that Jimmy kept silent. He would have been right there beside him with a noose around his neck too if not for the influence his family had on the town. He just hadn't expected Jimmy to be there. 

He watched that face for every moment that he could until he felt the floor of the platform give under him. His body fell and the noose tightened. 

Then Dean Winchester knew no more.


	2. Five years old.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He first meets Castiel when the boy is only five.

**Five years old**

It was really late and he wasn't supposed to be outside, but Castiel didn't care. 

The moon was high in the sky as he clambered as quietly as possible out of his bedroom window. It was on the first floor so he didn't really have far to tumble down and the grass was soft to land on.

He picked himself up and brushed off his clothes before making his way down to the corner of his street. The playground was there and empty at that time of night.

It was the summer before he was due to begin first grade and Castiel already hated school. The other children were mean. They said he was weird because he talked to himself all the time. But he wasn't talking to himself. 

Castiel’s grandfather told him he could see ghosts. That he could talk to them and try to help them. So he did. Grandfather said it was their duty to help spirits cross over so they could be happy with their families and loved ones. So they could find peace. Cas was only five, but he knew how important that was. 

He sat on one of the empty swings in the playground and started swinging, kicking his little legs back and forth so he could go higher. 

There was a graveyard right next to the playground. A chain link fence separated the two. Everyone thought it was creepy and the parents in the neighborhood weren't thrilled, but Cas had never minded. He preferred sneaking out to the playground at night, when it was deserted. Sometimes he even encountered a spirit he could talk to.

He glanced toward the graveyard and sure enough, he saw a man sitting on one of the headstones. His clothes looked like a really old fashioned style and Castiel felt that tingling sort of sensation he only got when he was looking at a ghost. He couldn't make out much of the man’s features in the dark, but Castiel watched him all the same.

The spirit turned his head and Castiel knew he saw him. Sometimes they weren't aware of their surroundings or the fact that they were dead. Those were the hardest to deal with, his grandfather had said. Castiel hoped this man wasn't like that. Or scary. He didn't seem scary though. 

The ghost rose from the headstone and walked closer to the playground. He stepped through the fence and when the light from the street lamp fell over him, Castiel couldn't help thinking he was pretty. Sandy brown hair and bright green eyes. The man was looking at him steadily. Cas didn't blink or look away.

“Can...Can you see me?” The spirit asked, shock evident in his voice. 

Castiel slowed the swing until it stopped. He hopped off and approached the man, nodding. “Yes, sir. I can see you.”

The man crouched down slightly, a small smile forming on his lips when he was at Castiel’s level. Cas could see a ring of reddened skin around his neck, but didn't know what it was or why it was there. “What's your name?” the man asked. 

“Castiel Novak.” He was puzzled by the way the ghost’s green eyes widened. He was looking at Castiel like he was the one seeing a ghost instead. It puzzled the little boy.

“Jimmy…” the man whispered, his gaze roaming all over Castiel’s face, but Cas shook his head. 

“No… I'm Castiel. My middle name is James though.” He tilted his head slightly. “What's your name, mister?”

It took a moment before the man responded, but when he did, the small smile was back. “Dean. My name is Dean Winchester.”

“Oh. Nice to meet you, Mister Winchester. My grandfather says I'm supposed to ask you if you see a light?” Castiel arched a brow at him.

Dean shook his head as he looked around, pointing to the street lamp above them. “Just that one.”

“Okay. No problem. I've helped Grandfather cross spirits over lots of times. I can help you too.” He smiled at Dean and the spirit chuckled a bit at his certainty.

“I've been here a long time, little man. I don't think I'm going to cross over anytime soon.” Dean shook his head and sat down on the grass with his legs crossed. Castiel mimicked him. 

“But you can't stay here forever. Aren't you lonely?” He tilted his head.

“Yeah. I am.” Dean’s little smile turned sad. “I want to see my family again. But I just haven't been able to cross over.”

“Well. I'll do my best to help you. We can talk to my grandfather tomorrow too. He'll see and hear you like me. Says it comes from his side of the family.” Castiel nodded. 

“All right. We can do that. Isn't it really late for you to be out on your own though?” Dean arched a brow at him and Castiel fiddled with a blade of grass sheepishly. 

“I like coming when there aren't going to be any other kids around,” he admitted quietly. 

“Why’s that?”

“The other kids make fun of me. They think I'm weird. That I talk to myself.” He shrugged, staring at the grass.

“I think you're great.” The ghost’s words had Cas’ gaze darting up, blue eyes wide. 

“You do?” He sounded so hopeful. Like he just needed someone to talk to. 

Dean nodded. “I do. I really do.” He smiled at the boy who mirrored it with one of his own. 

“I think you're great too!” Then he hopped to his feet. “Want to play?”

The ghost chuckled and stood up as well. “Sure. What would you like to play, Castiel?”

“How about hide and seek? I'll hide while you count to ten then you can look for me.” 

“Sounds like a plan. How high do I count?” Dean arched a brow, smiling at the boy’s excitement. 

“To ten. But no peeking,” he warned, waiting for Dean to close his eyes and start counting. Then he took off to go hide behind a tree, hand over his mouth to smother his giggles so he wouldn't give away his hiding place. 

“Ten!” Dean called when he finished counting and chuckled to himself when he heard muffled giggling from the trees. “Where did you go? I can't find you anywhere!” He made a show of looking under each swing and the slide. The giggling was still muffled, but more frequent. 

“You're very good at hiding,” Dean said as he went in the wrong direction on purpose, checking behind a trash can. “Did you become invisible?”

Castiel snorted and giggled. It was harder to keep quiet.

“Wait. What was that sound? I think I heard something over here. But no… It couldn't be. Could it?” Then Dean was suddenly beside him. “There you are!”

Castiel shrieked then fell over onto the grass, laughing that full-bellied, joy-filled laugh that children have. It made Dean smile as he crouched down beside him. “Had fun?”

“Yes! You're so funny, Mister Winchester!” He was still giggling as he sat up, bits of grass and leaves in his hair and on his clothes. 

“You can call me Dean, Cas. For now, though, it's really late. You should head home.” Dean didn't want the boy to go. It was the first chance he'd had to talk to anyone in so long. But Castiel was only a child. It wasn't safe for him to be out alone this late at night. Plus he would need his rest. 

“Aw. Can we play again tomorrow? Please?” Castiel stood and looked at Dean with pleading blue eyes. 

Even in death, Dean Winchester couldn't say no to a pair of big blue eyes apparently. 

“Of course.” He nodded and was rewarded with Castiel's bright smile. 

“Yay! I can't wait!” He jumped up and down excitedly. 

“Easy now. You'll wake the whole neighborhood like that. Come on, little man. I'll walk you home.” Dean gestured to the sidewalk and Castiel started walking. 

After he'd gotten Castiel safely back into his bedroom, Dean watched the little boy get into bed and sighed quietly. 

“Jimmy Novak...how is it that I'm the ghost, but I'm the one being haunted instead of doing the haunting?” he murmured to himself as he stood outside of Castiel's window. 

He vanished as the boy drifted off to sleep.


	3. Seven years old.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel encounters bullies. Dean is quick to deal with them.

**Seven years old**

“Freak!”

Castiel let out a surprised sound when the book he was reading was knocked out of his hands and into the mud. 

He'd been reading while on his way home from school and now his book had ended up in a mud puddle thanks to Gordon Walker and his friend, Brady. They were both two years older than Castiel and loved to make his time in school and out a living hell.

Walker smirked at him. “Hey, freak. Sorry about your book.” He clearly wasn't. “Not having a conversation with yourself today?”

Cas glared at them as he tried to crouch down and retrieve his book from the mud, but Brady’s foot appeared on top of the book, crushing it down into the puddle even further and ruining it. 

“Oops. Foot slipped.” Brady laughed and Gordon shoved Cas, knocking him onto his back on the leaf-strewn sidewalk.

With Gordon’s dirty shoe on his chest, applying his weight, Cas couldn't get back up despite struggling to do so. It only made them laugh more. 

“Come on, Novak, don't you want to hang out with us? We're having tons of fun already.” Gordon smirked and pressed down more with his foot. Castiel was finding it difficult to draw breath. 

He vaguely noticed the wind picking up, autumn leaves rushing across the ground. There hadn't been any wind earlier. Gordon and Brady both took notice. They paused to look around them, curious as to the sudden change.

Then Gordon was suddenly knocked off of Cas and straight into the mud puddle. Brady followed shortly after, landing beside Gordon face first.

“What the…?!” Both boys scrambled up, covered in mud, looking around with wide eyes. Then Gordon’s gaze landed on Cas and his eyes narrowed. “You think you can get away with that, freak?”

Castiel was too scared to point out he couldn't have done anything since they'd had him pinned down, but he quickly got to his feet and moved a few paces back, watching Gordon and Brady advance on him.

The fear didn't last long. A low hanging tree branch swung back on its own then snapped forward, smack both bullies in the face. There was no possible way Castiel could have done that given where he was standing. They'd seen it move on its own.

Cas was treated to the sight of his bullies running away in terror, muddy and bleeding from minor scrapes on their faces.

“Next time pick on someone your own size.” Dean appeared beside Castiel, arms crossed over his chest as he watched Gordon and Brady fleeing down the street.

“Dean!” Cas smiled as he picked up his book bag. “Thank you.” 

Dean smiled at him. “Anytime. You really should tell your parents or the school about those two. What they're doing to you isn't right.”

“That would probably just make things worse.” Castiel shrugged his arms into the straps of his bag then continued on his way home.

“For them. Not for you. You've got me remember? I'll look out for you.” Dean fell into step beside him and Cas couldn't help smiling again. 

“I know you will. But you can't always be there, right?” Cas walked at a leisurely pace, in no real hurry to get home. 

“Who says I can't? I have all the time in the world.” He winked at Cas playfully who chuckled. 

Cas had tried to help Dean cross over. Castiel's grandfather had as well. Yet Dean didn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. Instead, he and Castiel had become fast friends. Dean often accompanied Cas while he was at school or helped him with his homework. They played a lot of games together too. Dean had become Castiel's best friend and Cas discovered not long after meeting Dean that he didn't ever want to have to say goodbye to him.

Perhaps it was selfish of him to feel that way. But Castiel had never had a friend before. With Dean, as weird as it sounded, he felt more like a normal kid having fun with his best friend. So what if said friend was a ghost from the 1850s? 

Cas smiled as they turned onto his street. “Will you tell me a story tonight?”

“If you want me to.” Dean smiled at him as they walked. 

“I like your stories. I liked the one I was reading earlier too, but Gordon and Brady ruined it.” Castiel sighed when they reached his house. 

“I'm sorry, Cas.” Dean walked inside with him.

“It's okay. I'll find another copy to read.” He put his bag down on his bed. “I'm gonna go do my chores then we can play.” He smiled at Dean then went to go feed and water the family dog, Sadie. 

That night, Dean told Cas the story of two boys who met and fell in love. Cas was intrigued. He loved the story and fell asleep wondering what happily ever after with the person you loved most would be like. 

The next afternoon, a brand new copy of the book Gordon and Brady had ruined was waiting for him on his bed when he got home from school. He smiled as he picked it up and hugged it to his chest. “Thank you, Dean,” he murmured. 

Dean watched from outside, a little smile of his own on his lips. 

“You're welcome, Cas…”


	4. Eleven years old.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, when a spirit doesn't realize they're dead, they're terrifying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I apologize to all the Kevin Tran fans for this one. Also, as we proceed with the story, the chapters will get longer. I wanted to give a bit of insight into Castiel's childhood first.

**Eleven years old**

Castiel felt so peaceful every time he helped a spirit cross over. He was young, yes, but he knew how important a task it was. His grandfather taught him well.

He helped his grandfather, Chuck, as often as he could, but Chuck still wanted Castiel to have as normal a childhood as possible. Normal for Castiel constituted going to school, ignoring the kids that picked on him then finding a quiet spot to read or playing with Dean. He'd come to enjoy the company of the dead more than he did the living. Except for when the dead scared him out of his wits.

Sometimes, spirits were scary when they didn't know they were dead. He hadn't come across many of those and he was glad for it. He wasn't always so fortunate.

He was at home, laying on his stomach while reading a book on his bedroom floor one night when it happened again. He knew Dean would be nearby because Dean always was. Yet when the lights in his bedroom began to flicker, Castiel knew it wasn't Dean.

He looked up at the lights and saw his breath beginning to fog. Which made his heart begin to race. Castiel rose to his feet quickly. “Dean…?”

“I'm here, Cas,” Dean said from beside him when he appeared. It startled Castiel, but he was so grateful for Dean’s presence.

It helped especially when the teenage boy’s spirit appeared right in front of Castiel, dripping blood onto his carpet. His throat was slit, blood covering his front. His mouth opened and closed soundlessly.

Castiel screamed and backed away, stumbling over his desk chair but managed to keep his feet. The ghost stayed where he was, however.

Dean stepped between Castiel and the other ghost, protective as ever, his eyes narrowed. “Snap out of it!” he said to the spirit. “You're scaring him!”

Castiel saw the spirit focus on Dean and a strained, hoarse voice finally spoke. “Where am I?”

“You're dead. Like me. But he's not. He can see and hear you. He can help you cross over. But you need to stop scaring the hell out of him first,” Dean said, watching the other ghost warily.

The spirit looked at Castiel who gathered his courage and stepped forward, staying near Dean. “You're in my house. This is Dean. I'm Castiel. I'm so sorry, but Dean is right. You're dead. But I can help you find peace. What's your name?”

“Kevin…” the spirit whispered, watching Castiel. “I died?” Clarity was slowly beginning to form in Kevin’s gaze and Castiel was glad to see it.

“Yes. I'm really sorry, Kevin. Will you please let me help you?” Castiel took a step forward.

“My mom…” Kevin’s brow furrowed as he fought through the confusion. “Does she know?”

“I don't know. But I can find out for you. What's her name?” Castiel asked, moving to get a pen and paper from his desk.

“Linda Tran. She's a professor at the university.” Kevin’s appearance shifted slowly, the blood and wound at his throat vanishing. “He killed me…”

“Who?” Dean asked, brow arched.

“Gadreel.” Castiel wrote down all the information that Kevin gave them.

“I'll take all this to my grandfather in the morning and we can help you. I promise.” Castiel put the information into his book bag to bring to Chuck.

“Thank you.” Kevin looked sad and Castiel hated to see it. He stepped toward him again.

“I can pass on any message you’d like to your mother too. Help you talk to her again.” He hoped it would help comfort Kevin somehow. He was pleased to see the small smile that formed on Kevin’s face.

“I appreciate it. Can I come with you tomorrow to talk to your grandfather?”

“Of course. He'll be able to see and speak with you too just like me.” Castiel nodded.

“Okay. I'll be there. I'm...I'm sorry I scared you.” Kevin looked down at the floor. “I didn't mean to.”

“It's okay. Don't worry about it. I'll see you in the morning. My grandfather lives on Spring Street,” Castiel told him.

Kevin nodded. “Okay. See you tomorrow.” Then he was gone, leaving Castiel and Dean alone in his room.

Castiel sat down heavily on his bed. His hands were shaking a bit. Kevin’s arrival had scared him, but he'd managed to cast the fear aside in order to help the spirit.

“Cas? You all right?” Dean asked, sitting down by him. He looked worried.

He willed himself to calm down and looked up at Dean. “Yes. He just startled me is all. I'm okay, I promise.”

“Are you sure?” Dean didn't quite believe him, but Castiel nodded.

“I am. I should get to sleep though.” He got up to get ready for bed and Dean gave him privacy while he did so. He returned once Castiel was in bed.

“What story would you like to hear tonight?” Dean settled on the edge of the bed again.

“Tell me about the two boys.” It was Castiel's favorite. Every night that Dean gave him the choice, he chose the tale of the two young boys who fell in love. He didn't even care that he still wanted bedtime stories at the age of eleven. Listening to Dean tell them as he fell asleep always made him happy.

Dean got a tiny smile on his lips as he always did when Castiel asked for that particular story, then began to tell it.

“Once upon a time, there were two boys who met and fell in love despite all the obstacles that were against them…”

And the next day, when Castiel helped the ghost of poor Kevin Tran cross over after delivering a message to his grieving mother for him, no one was prouder of Castiel than Dean.

 


	5. Fourteen years old.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chuck Shurley died on a Thursday morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit more angst. It's a short chapter, but as I mentioned before, I want to give you snippets of Castiel's past/childhood before we reach his adult years. Then the plot will thicken as they say, which includes longer chapters. Also, as you can tell if you've ever seen Ghost Whisperer, I've included some of my favorite moments from the show and Destiel'd them so to speak. Hope you're enjoying the story so far!

**Fourteen years old**

Chuck Shurley died on a Thursday morning.

He'd had a stroke a few months prior and no one had been by his side more than Castiel. The boy saw him for breakfast and dinner as well as helped him in the evenings before he was forced to go home and do his schoolwork.

One day, weeks before he passed, Chuck had spoken to Dean privately while Castiel was running a quick errand to the grocery store for some milk for Chuck’s breakfast.

The old man had smiled at Dean, resting in the wheelchair he'd been forced to start using after the stroke. “He's a good boy.”

“He's the best,” Dean corrected, lingering in Chuck’s living room after Castiel had insisted he'd be back shortly.

“I know how much you love him, Dean. In fact, I'm counting on it.” Chuck watched him, hands folded in his lap.

“What do you mean?” The words caught Dean visibly off guard, but he fell silent so Chuck could continue.

“I mean it's nearly my time. I'm hoping that once I'm gone, he'll have you to help him through it.” Chuck talked about his death so calmly and rationally. Dean supposed when one had to be around the dead as much as Chuck Shurley had in his lifetime, you learned not to be so afraid of it.

“Cas will be devastated…” His heart ached at the thought as he stated the obvious and Chuck nodded.

“I know, Dean. But he'll have you. I know you'll take care of him for me. You've always been by his side since the day you met. I'm grateful for everything you've done for him. And everything you'll continue to do.”

“How do you know the light will be there for you to cross over into?” Dean asked, brow arched.

“I've had a good life, Dean. I've helped people like you since I was a child. My family will be taken care of after I'm gone. I'm ready for the next adventure.” Chuck smiled a bit. “My only concern at first was Castiel. What would happen to him after I was gone. But I know I shouldn't have worried. You'll be there for him.”

“I will,” Dean promised without hesitation and his words made Chuck’s smile widen.

“Thank you, Dean.” Then Chuck had smiled for his grandson when Castiel returned with the milk and started preparing a bowl of cereal to help him eat.

The day Chuck died, Castiel had gone to tend to him before school and Dean realized before his young companion.

Chuck sat in his wheelchair as he usually did and his smile for Castiel was gentle. “Hello, Castiel.”

“Hello, Grandpa! You look much better today. I brought you some fruit to have for breakfast.” Castiel set his school bag down on the sofa and showed him the bananas and peaches he'd brought thanks to his mother.

“Those look delicious. I'm afraid they'll have to wait though. I need to talk to you about something important, all right?” Chuck watched Castiel closely and Dean hung back in the doorway. He was devastated to see Chuck on this side of things, just like he was, but he knew it would only get worse once Castiel figured it out.

“Okay. What is it?” Cas set the fruit down as well and crouched down by Chuck, brow furrowed.

“You're such a good boy, Castiel. I need you to try to be strong for me. Promise?” Chuck smiled gently at him and Castiel nodded slowly.

“All right. But why?” Dean could tell Castiel was slowly but surely starting to figure it out.

“I'm sorry, Castiel, but I didn't wake up this morning.” Chuck delivered the news as gently as he could, but both he and Dean could see the grief and denial coming fast.

“You did. You're sitting right in front of me.” Castiel shook his head quickly and got to his feet, backing away from his grandfather’s spirit. “You're scaring me. Stop it.”

“I'm sorry, son. It was just my time.” Chuck rose from the chair and Dean saw the tears forming in Castiel’s eyes.

Castiel shook his head again. “No. No, it's not true.” His voice broke then he darted past Chuck to run down the hall to his grandfather’s bedroom.

Dean beat him there, standing by the doorway as Castiel looked inside. The boy saw Chuck’s body lying in bed. He looked like he was just sleeping. Castiel looked between the body and the spirit of his grandfather then shook his head one more time, a quiet “No… Not you…” escaping before he started crying and slid down the wall onto his knees.

Castiel huddled on the floor in the hallway and sobbed, his arms wrapped tightly around himself. For a boy who had communicated with the dead his entire life, that was the very first time he'd ever suffered a loss so close to home.

Dean kneeled beside him and his heart broke for his boy. “Cas. I'm so sorry.” He wanted more than anything in the world to just be able to wrap Castiel up in his arms as tightly as he could and never let go. Yet all he could do was be there and offer what comfort he could with his presence.

Castiel didn't reply. He also didn't see Chuck disappear to go find his daughter and tell her what happened.

That was how Naomi found her son fifteen minutes later. Curled up on the floor crying with Dean by his side.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The funeral had quite a big turnout, both from the living and the dead.

Castiel saw them all and was spoken to by a majority of them, but knew he would never remember anything that was said to him. Except for the things Dean said to him.

Dean was by his side nearly every moment since Castiel had first learned of his grandfather’s passing. His presence had indeed been a great comfort. Especially when, after the funeral, Chuck had come to his grandson one last time. Castiel had pleaded in vain for Chuck not to leave him even though he knew it was selfish and his grief was doing the talking.

“Be strong for me, Castiel. I'm proud of you. So proud.” Chuck smiled at him as tears coursed down his grandson’s face.

“I love you, Grandpa,” Castiel had whispered, voice wavering. He was curled up in bed, where he'd spent a majority of his time since Chuck died.

“I love you too. I always will. I'll be watching over you.” They were phrases Castiel had heard thousands of times in his work with helping spirits cross over. He'd never expected to be on the receiving end of them, however.

Then Chuck Shurley went into the light after one last look at Castiel and the boy had cried into his pillow for an hour until he slipped into an exhausted sleep.

Dean was by his side through everything, guarding his rest. It was the easiest promise in the world to keep.


	6. Seventeen years old.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's prom night for Castiel and he's dressed to impress. The only opinion he cares about is Dean's, however.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should warn you this chapter contains hints of underage stuff. There is no physical aspect to it, however. I just wanted to put that out there in case anyone was bothered by that sort of thing.

**Seventeen years old**

Castiel smiled as the spirit crossed over. “That was easy.”

“If only they were all that easy,” Dean said, standing nearby in Castiel's living room.

The boy nodded. “Just in time, too. I need to go get ready. You'll have to tell me what you think when I'm done.”

“Oh, you know me. Always happy to give an opinion.” Dean winked and made Cas laugh.

“Very true. I'll call for you when I'm ready.” Cas headed down the hall to his bedroom and shut the door.

Dean watched him go and sighed. Castiel was growing up before his eyes. He looked more and more like Jimmy with each passing day and it made Dean’s heart ache fiercely. He had the same dark, unruly hair. The same cornflower blue eyes. A smile that could make a man go weak in the knees…

He shook his head. Castiel wasn't Jimmy. Jimmy was gone. He'd made peace with that long ago. The task had become easier having Castiel around. Dean had never once viewed Castiel as Jimmy though. Nor had he ever sought to use Cas as a way to replace his long dead lover. That hadn't stopped Dean’s heart from pushing him in a direction he hadn't been willing to go.

He'd realized the previous year that he didn't just love Cas as family. As a friend. He was in love with the boy who had become his entire world. Dean couldn't help feeling like it was wrong of him though. Not only was Cas essentially still a child, but Dean was a ghost. What sort of chance could they even have? None.

So Dean had swallowed his pride and kept his mouth shut. Cas didn't need to know. As long as he still wanted Dean in his life, Dean would be content. It was the best he could hope for. That had never seemed to stop his traitorous heart from wishing, however.

“Dean!” He heard Castiel call for him and appeared in his room seconds later.

If Dean required air, it would have caught in his chest. As it was, his eyes widened and all Dean could do was stare.

Castiel stood there nervously, running a hand down the front of his tuxedo. “Do I look okay?”

The tuxedo was black with a white shirt underneath. Castiel wore a royal blue tie with it as well that only served to bring out his eyes even more. It took a long moment before Dean could formulate a response.

“Amazing,” he heard himself utter. “You look amazing.”

His words caused Castiel to blush deeply, but smile brightly. “Really?”

“Really,” Dean nodded, a smile of his own forming. “You'll be the most handsome boy at the dance.”

Castiel’s smile lingered as he watched Dean. “Thanks, Dean.”

“Why are you going alone though? Aren't you supposed to have a partner for something like this?” Dean arched a brow and crossed his arms.

“Couldn't think of anyone that I wanted to go with. Meg asked, but I tried to let her down gently.” Castiel shrugged and fidgeted with the buttons of his tuxedo jacket.

“So you're going by yourself?” Dean tilted his head a bit, puzzled.

“No, I...I was hoping you would go with me.” The blush was back and Castiel's response surprised Dean.

“What? You want me to be your date?” Dean shook his head. “Cas, no one would even be able to see me. I can't even dance with you. You'd just look like you were sitting there talking to yourself and the other kids already give you a difficult enough time for that.”

Dean noticed that the more he talked, the more dejected Castiel looked. He mentally kicked himself and added: “But if you really want me to then, yes, I'll be your date to the dance.”

That had the desired effect when Castiel's bright and happy smile returned. It was Dean’s favorite. “Really?”

“Yes. Really.” Dean nodded and gave him a small smile of his own.

“Thank you, Dean! This will be great!” He went to his stereo and started some music.

“What are you doing? Don't we need to get to the dance?” Dean asked as he watched him start the song.

“Well, we're going to start the dance right here.” He held out a hand to the ghost. “Dance with me, Dean.”

Dean heard the words and felt that familiar ache again. “Cas, I can't…”

 _Can I find my way to you_  
_And after all that we've been through_  
_And after all we left in pieces_  
_I still believe our lives have just begun_  
_Cause now the past can be outrun_  
_And I know you are the reason_  
_I still believe the best is yet to come_

“Please.” One quietly spoken word and Dean knew he could protest no further. The lyrics left him feeling raw as he put his hand over Cas’ outstretched palm. He knew by the shiver he saw that Cas could feel it to an extent. At least in regard to a sudden drop in temperature.

Dean stepped closer as the song continued, wrapping an arm around Cas’ waist, mimicking what he would do were he able to actually feel the young man in his arms. Castiel did the same with his own arms, placing his hands right where he would if he could actually touch Dean, one in Dean’s hand, the other at his shoulder.

Castiel started the dance, shifting in a slow but awkward circle, watching Dean following his movements. Dean had flashes of memory, quiet nights spent in secret, a dark haired man in his arms as they danced together. But Jimmy’s face blended with Castiel's until all he saw was the boy who had come to mean everything to him.

 _A photograph’s still in my hands_  
_Afraid to let it go_  
_The minutes rain like grains of sand_  
_And time is just a war that's stealing dreams from within_  
_So come and take them back again_

Dean couldn't look away from those blue eyes and wished desperately that he was alive. That he could feel the warmth of Castiel's touch. Castiel stumbled slightly on his own feet and blushed.

“That tie really brings out your eyes,” Dean murmured, trying to distract him from being nervous.

“I know. Cornflower blue. Just like you always said.” Castiel smiled at him, but Dean froze.

He stopped moving in that semblance of a dance as the song came to an end, brow furrowed as he stared at Castiel. “I've never told you that before,” he whispered. Not Castiel. He never had. But he'd told Jimmy that thousands of times.

Castiel’s smile turned into a frown. “Yes, you have.”

Dean shook his head, confused and most of all vulnerable. A combination he didn't care for. “We should get going to the dance if you want to make it on time.” It was a deflection, plain and simple, but he needed to think about this.

“All right. My mother wants some pictures before I go though. She's letting me borrow her car.” If Castiel noticed Dean’s strange behavior, he didn't comment on it. He just turned the stereo off then grabbed his wallet before heading to the living room.

Castiel endured twenty minutes of pictures for his mother’s sake. Finally, he had to beg her to let him go before he missed the whole dance. She relented and he hugged his parents before accepting the keys she offered him.

“Be careful,” she told him, then looked directly at Dean. “Take care of him.”

Castiel's mother didn't like being able to see ghosts. She'd barely spoken to Dean in twelve years after she made sure he wasn't a threat to Castiel. He knew what it took for her to address him at all and nodded.

“Yes, ma’am.” He gave her a little smile then vanished, reappearing in the passenger seat of the white sedan in the driveway.

Cas slid into the driver’s seat and grinned as he buckled his seatbelt. “This will be great.” He slipped the key into the ignition and started the car, adjusting all the mirrors as he needed to.

“I'm sure it will,” Dean said, settled in the seat as Castiel started the drive to the venue where the dance was taking place.

“Did you have dances like this?” Castiel glanced briefly at him as he posed the question and Dean pointed ahead.

“Eyes on the road. And we had dances, yes, but it was usually only for the rich. People like me couldn't afford to go. Jimmy snuck me into one once. It was beautiful, but definitely not for me. I preferred a far more laid back setting.” He shrugged as Castiel turned the car down another street.

“I'm glad you're coming with me to this one. It really means a lot to me, Dean.” Cas glanced at him again to smile which Dean couldn't help returning. It was just enough time though. A split second.

Dean’s smile turned to a look of shock and horror as they drove through a green light. “Cas!”

A car on the side street had run a red light and plowed right into the driver's side of their car. Dean was helpless to stop it. All he could do was watch as the car rolled and Castiel was rolled with it. When the vehicle settled, it was upside down on a median. Castiel was limp, arms hanging in the air as blood dripped from what looked like a bad head wound.

“Cas!” Dean was beside him instantly, reaching for him on instinct despite over a century of knowing his hands would only go straight through, which they did.

Castiel didn't move. Didn't even stir. Dean could hear running footsteps as people from the sidewalks rushed over to help. He heard someone calling for help, for emergency services.

“Cas. Come on, Cas, please open your eyes. Castiel, open your damn eyes right now!” he yelled, voice wavering slightly as it rose in volume. He could hear sirens in the distance. Help wasn't far off thankfully.

“Cas, please…” Dean pleaded, wishing that Castiel would heed him and answer his call.

“Dean…”

He was standing beside the car, still in his suit, and Dean’s heart shattered when he saw Castiel's spirit for the first time.

“No… Oh, please no… Not you…”


	7. Seventeen years old - Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel isn't dead, but he wouldn't say he's living either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, life got in the way with a sick kid earlier in the week so I had to focus on doing the mom thing for a while with no time for writing. But here's your chapter! Hope you guys enjoy. :)

Castiel stood there looking at the paramedics and firemen working quickly to extract his body from the ruin that was his mother’s car. He felt strangely numb to it all. He wasn't scared surprisingly. Oddly enough, rather than fear, all he felt was fascination. 

So this was what it was like to be on the other side of things. To be a ghost. Castiel had always wondered. Yet, even then, he felt a keen sense of awareness he'd never had before. There was so much more to the spirit world than he'd imagined. More than he'd ever dreamed. 

Everything looked the same yet it felt so different. There were echoes of the past all around him, but not just in the form of other ghosts. He could see them still, but he felt so much more when he looked around. Echoes of times long past and spirits long departed. Everything and everyone left their mark on the world. It filled him with a sense of rightness to know that even if he had to die, some part of him would always linger. Would always be remembered. 

Castiel tilted his head slightly as they finally pried the driver’s side door off the car with the jaws of life, watching the emergency crews extract him from inside. He could see the blood and the bruises already forming where his skin was visible. He wasn't even mad that the driver who hit him was fine. The man looked distraught as he spoke with a police officer, but he didn't have a scratch on him. 

He felt Dean’s presence keenly right before hands gripped his shoulders and spun him around. Castiel had never seen Dean look so upset before and it made his heart ache to know that he was the cause. 

“You listen to me. You're only seventeen! It's not your time! You get back in your body right fucking now, Castiel James Novak, or I swear I will never forgive you for the rest of my existence!” Dean looked like all he wanted to do was cry or hit something or both. Yet Castiel could only focus on being able to distinctly feel the way that Dean was touching him. It wasn't the same as a physical touch. It was more like their presences were connecting on a metaphysical level, but it was more than they'd had before.

“I don't know if it works that way,” Castiel mused, watching the medics load him onto a stretcher to put in the back of the ambulance. “I'm not even sure I'm dead. They're talking about me like I'm not.”

“Try. Don't stand around here waiting to die. Get back in your body. Please…” Dean’s voice wavered and he brought his hands up to frame Castiel’s face. The gesture struck him with the sheer familiarity of it. That was impossible though. Dean had never touched him like that before. 

“Okay. I'll try.” How could he argue when Dean gave him such a pleading look? He turned and went into the ambulance. The EMTs were talking back and forth, calling out instructions and Castiel slipped through one of them to stand by the stretcher. That was an interesting sensation he'd have to think about more later. 

He looked down at his body and finally started to feel worried. What if it didn't work? What if he would truly be dead? Dean was right. He was only seventeen. He had so much left to do with his life. It couldn't be the end. Not yet. 

Castiel thrust his hand out and into his chest. It went through with no resistance, but nothing happened. He frowned, feeling Dean right beside him. Then he tried again, only this time he tried laying down on the stretcher. That failed as well. When he rose to his feet again, Dean’s shook his head. 

“It's too soon. It's too damn soon…” He covered his mouth briefly with his hand as the ambulance started the drive to the hospital, sirens wailing. 

“Dean. We don't get a say in this. If it's my time there's nothing I can do to change it.” He'd come to terms with that even as a child through all the work he did with spirits. His grandfather had taught him to not fear death and to see it as the next step toward another adventure. Chuck hadn't known what was on the other side, but he and Castiel could both attest to the fact that there was peace. 

“You're not dead yet. I don't know how you're here if you're not dead, but that has to mean that this can be fixed somehow, Cas. Don't you dare give up.” Dean lowered his hand and glared at him fiercely. It was the grief in those green eyes that had Castiel relenting. 

“Okay. We'll try to figure it out. I don't know how I'm here either if I'm still breathing. Maybe it's an out of body experience instead of actual death.” Castiel had never come across it before, but he vaguely recalled his grandfather mentioning the subject once when he was a child. He wished he'd paid more attention at the time. 

“That would mean there's a chance you can go back then. That's better than nothing. I'll take those odds,” Dean said and wrapped an arm around Castiel's shoulders as the ambulance arrived at the hospital’s emergency room entrance. 

The EMTs unloaded his body and rushed into the hospital as Castiel allowed himself to lean against Dean. “Bad odds are better than worse odds,” he found himself murmuring and felt the way Dean went still beside him.

“What?” Dean was looking at him with wide eyes and Castiel was confused. 

“I said bad odds are better than worse odds.” He arched a brow. “You said that all the time.” Castiel was confused as to what he'd said to affect Dean in such a way given how intently Dean was staring at him, but he shook his head and exited the ambulance to make his way into the emergency room.

“Not to you,” Dean whispered as he watched Castiel walk away. He hurried to follow after a moment.

The emergency room was chaos and it took Castiel a few minutes to find himself. When he did, his body was surrounded by doctors and nurses working quickly to stabilize him. The hardest part of the whole experience was seeing his parents. His mother could see him when she walked in and started sobbing. That just made him want to cry as well.

It took some time, but between his reassurances and those of his doctors, Naomi finally settled, knowing that Castiel was still alive. She wasn't happy she could see his spirit walking around like a ghost, but at least together they stood a chance of figuring out what was going on. 

Castiel was listed in critical condition and moved to the intensive care unit for observation. The doctors said he was in a coma and they would know whether or not surgery was required once the scans came back. 

He stood in his room, watching a machine breathe for him. Castiel had a rather surreal feeling about the whole situation. It was so odd to be watching his own body. Like an outsider looking in.

“We'll figure this out, Cas,” Dean said from just behind him and Castiel was grateful for his presence. 

“What if we don't?” He glanced back at Dean. “What if I die? What if I can cross over and you can't?”

“Don't go borrowing trouble when there's no need, Castiel.” Dean shook his head and came up to him, wrapping his arms around Castiel’s waist as he stood behind him. “Your mother told me to tell you she was going home to look through some of your grandfather's old journals. She wants to see if she can find anything that might help bring you back.”

“I vaguely remember him mentioning out of body experiences before, but I was so little. I don't remember what he said about it. Knowing him, though, there has to be something in all his old records.” Castiel leaned back against Dean and watched his chest rise and fall with the aid of the respirator. 

“Well, this isn't something you see every day,” came a voice from the doorway. 

Dean and Castiel both turned to see the spirit of an older black woman standing there, watching them both. “Usually if you're on this side of the fence, you're not still breathing on the other side.”

“Oh, believe me, I know. I'm just as confused as you are,” Castiel shrugged, tilting his head. “May we help you with something, ma’am?”

“Oh, honey, look at you. Thinking of others first despite what's going on with you. You're a sweet boy. I'm just fine though, don't you worry.” She smiled and stepped toward them. “I'm Missouri Moseley.”

“Castiel Novak,” Cas offered with a smile and polite nod. “Nice to meet you.”

“Dean Winchester,” Dean said, giving a little wave. 

“Nice to meet you boys. I hope I'm not intruding.” She stood by them in a black dress, gold jewelry at her ears and neck. “I was just heading down to see my great-granddaughter when I caught sight of the two of you.”

“No, ma’am, you're not intruding at all.” Castiel shook his head and glanced at Dean who nodded toward Cas in agreement. 

“Such a nice boy. Your mama raised you right. Now what happened to you, darlin’, if you don't mind me asking?” she arched a dark brow as she posed the question.

“I was just in a car accident. I have no idea how I'm even standing here like this right now if I'm still alive. I don't know how to fix it either.” Castiel felt Dean’s fingers slip into his and squeeze gently, reassuring him. He squeezed back. 

“Well, sugar, you got yourself a level head on your shoulders then. I think most folks in your shoes would be throwing a fit right about now. I think you'll figure it out though. You seem like a smart boy to me.” She smiled at him. “I'll come by and visit later if you like. I just want to check on my great-grandbaby and see how she's coming along.”

“Coming along?” Dean asked, brow furrowed. 

“Oh, honey, didn't I tell you? I'm about to be a great-great grandmother.” Missouri laughed and playfully swatted his arm. “My great-granddaughter, Ashley. She's downstairs in labor, but wouldn't you know that little one’s just as stubborn as me and doesn't want to come out. Poor child’s been in labor for ages now. It's almost time though. Ashley is my only great-grandchild and I died when she was still just a little thing. Wanted to stick around a while and see how she turned out. I'm pleased as can be that she's doing so well for herself.”

“That's wonderful. Congratulations.” Castiel couldn't help smiling despite everything going on. Missouri’s excitement and pride were easy to see, her happiness infectious. He truly was happy for her and her family. 

“Thank you, sugar. I better get going though. Don't want to miss the birth. The baby might even see me. Now won't that be something?” She chuckled then waved. “Be good, you two. I'll drop in later.” Missouri waved and then she was gone. 

“Well, that was...surprisingly pleasant,” Castiel mused as he looked toward Dean again when they were alone. 

Dean chuckled, hands in the pockets of his pants. “It was. I like her.”

“She reminds me of Ellen,” Castiel murmured, watching where Missouri stood with a distant look in his eyes. He felt Dean turn to look at him again, but he saw a woman with brown hair in a dark dress in his mind’s eye, hard as nails but with a soft spot for the underdogs of the town. She'd been no different with them.

“Cas…” Dean said quietly, finally earning his full attention as well as a curious look. “How do you know about Ellen?” The look on Dean’s face was puzzling to Castiel and he tilted his head slightly. How did he know about Ellen? He didn't know. He just did. Why shouldn't he know about Ellen? She'd been one of their dearest friends after all.

“She was our friend. Why wouldn't I know about Ellen? She caught us behind her bar that night, remember? All she said was ‘You boys gotta be more careful in the future’ before she went back inside.” Part of Castiel was wondering just how the hell he knew all of this and could see it as plain as day, like an actual memory. 

“Cas, that wasn't you. That was…” Jimmy. That had been Jimmy. Dean didn't speak his name, but Castiel heard it all the same. Jimmy Novak. Or James as most referred to him. Yet Castiel felt with a certainty he didn't understand that he'd been there that night with Dean. Felt his arms around him as they kissed in the shadows behind the bar. It had been extremely late at night and very cold.

“It was me. You… I was cold and you said you'd be happy to warm me up. You've always taken care of me. From the very first day we met. When I fell off my horse and broke my arm. Remember?” Castiel looked at him with wide blue eyes and Dean recalled the bittersweet memory clearly. 

“Your saddle was loose,” Dean murmured and Castiel chuckled a bit.

“Alfie was so upset when he found out how I fell. Begged me to let him make amends for not saddling Honeybee properly,” he murmured, bringing a hand to Dean’s cheek. Everything was flooding his mind so quickly, the memories of another life he'd been unable to recall until now. “I was there. In the square.”

Dean shook his head quickly. “Don't. Don't do this,” he whispered, his voice wavering as he looked away. 

The grief was an almost tangible thing. If he'd been in his body, it likely would have felt like he was being smothered by it. “I'm so sorry I didn't stop them,” he choked out and Dean’s hands came up to grip his wrists, his green eyes shut tightly. 

“You would have been right there with me if you had. We both knew it.” Then he finally opened his eyes to look at Castiel, his name whispered with such love, but also remorse. 

“Jimmy…”


	8. Seventeen years old - Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finally gets to talk to Jimmy.

Jimmy Novak and Castiel Novak were the same person.

Dean wanted to break down with the realization, but instead, all he did was pull Castiel into his arms and cling. “It's you… You've been here all this time. Right in front of me…”

Castiel's arms went around him and Dean felt like he had finally come home. “It's so strange. Two lives blending together until all I see is one long story. I'm two people, but at the same time I'm not. It's a difficult concept to grasp.”

“Don't worry about it, okay? We can figure all this out later. Right now, we have to find a way to get you back in your body where you belong. That's what matters most.” Dean leaned in and pressed a kiss to his forehead, keeping him close.

“I'm still not sure how. And Mom hasn't come back yet with any information from Grandfather’s journals.” Castiel shook his head slightly, but leaned against Dean, grateful for his presence.

“We'll find a way. Whatever it takes.” Of that, Dean was certain. No matter what happened, he would not have Castiel be denied his chance to live his life to the fullest. If it were up to Dean, Castiel would die an old man, warm and comfortable in his bed after a long and happy life.

Castiel gave him a small smile and rested his head on Dean’s shoulder. “I hope I won't forget any of this. I've missed being held by you so much.”

“I missed it too,” Dean whispered, closing his eyes and cradling Castiel protectively in his arms. “I just wish I could feel it better. Like I used to.”

“Me too. This is a little odd and not at all how it was when we were both alive. But it's better than not being able to hold you at all.” He looked up at Dean, his smile sad. “I miss hearing your heart beating.”

Dean sighed and nodded. “I know. I'm sorry.”

“No. Don't be. I'm just happy we found each other again.” Castiel's gaze strayed to the red line across Dean’s neck and what little of a smile he'd had left vanished. “I'm so sorry, Dean. I should have stopped them. Should have done something. I can't ever make up for this…”

Dean shook his head. “Don't. I told you. They would have killed you too. It was better that you didn't do anything. At least you got to live. That was all that mattered to me.”

Castiel's expression became a bitter one. “He forced me to marry. Didn't even give me time to mourn. You died and a month later I was married to Amelia.”

“I know,” Dean sighed and lowered his gaze. “I was there.”

Blue eyes blinked in surprise. “You… You came to my wedding?”

Dean smiled at him sadly. “I never left you. I saw you marry. Saw you start a family. You were a wonderful father, Jimmy. And I know you loved Amelia over time. You came to my grave and begged me to forgive you for it. For being even a little happy. But there was nothing to forgive, Jimmy. I was glad that you were happy.”

Castiel closed his eyes tightly as he listened to Dean. “I didn't deserve to be happy. I got you killed.”

“You did not. That's ridiculous. You didn't reveal our relationship to anyone. Alastair did. He's the one that caught us.” Dean stroked his hair softly, hoping the gesture brought him some form of comfort.

“I don't even know what he was doing in the woods that day. No one ever travelled to that part of it except us.” Castiel lowered his head, leaning into Dean’s touch.

“You weren't the only one I looked in on,” Dean explained, his voice taking on its own bitter tone.

Castiel looked up at him again. “Father Alastair too? What did you find out?”

“That he'd been gunning for me for a long time. It wasn't even you he was after. It was always me. That's why he didn't try to go after you once I was gone.” The bitterness gave way to anger and the lights in the room flickered. He forced himself to calm down.

“I had no idea. I wondered if it was something my father did to make sure I was left alone, but I suppose it wasn't…” He shook his head. “What a god awful mess.”

“It definitely was. But it's over. No sense dwelling on it. Focus on the problem at hand.” Dean brought a hand to his cheek. “I'm thrilled to have you back, but we need to get you back into your body. Maybe you'll just wake up on your own. I know it sounds too easy, but it could happen, right?”

“I don't know, Dean. I suppose it's possible. I'd love for it to be that easy. Nothing ever really seems that way though.” Castiel finally pulled away from Dean and approached his body, watching his own chest rise and fall thanks to the machines that were breathing for him.

“We'll see.” Dean came up beside him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “In the meantime, how about we dance for real this time?”

Castiel gazed at him with a smile forming on his lips. “Oh really?”

Dean nodded. “We might not get another chance.” He took Castiel’s hand and guided him a few steps away from the bed, pulling him into his arms for a proper slow dance.

Castiel fell into step with him and a smile lingered on his lips as he rested his head on Dean’s shoulder. “That was our story,” he said after a few moments of quiet.

“Hm?” Dean arched a brow, glancing down at him curiously.

“The two boys who fell in love. The story you told me before I went to sleep. That was our story.” He squeezed Dean’s hand and closed his eyes.

“Yes. See? You never truly left me. I still carried you with me.” Dean kissed his hair as they swayed in a dance with no music.

“I love you,” Castiel whispered, looking up at Dean with a smile on his lips.

“I never stopped loving you. And I fell in love with you all over again as Castiel.” Dean smiled and leaned in to brush their lips together in a soft kiss.

He felt Castiel smile against his lips, but never expected him to disappear from his arms entirely. It was then that he noticed the beeping in the room and the way Castiel’s body started jerking a bit on the bed. His eyes were open and he was struggling against the breathing tube in his airway.

Nurses rushed into the room, followed shortly by the on call doctor as they removed the tube and stabilized him. Dean watched it all from Castiel's bedside and his smile was bittersweet. He wanted Castiel to live, but he was afraid that Castiel wouldn’t remember anything that had happened during the coma.

Dean stayed close despite nurses stepping through him, brushing his fingers over Castiel's cheek once he was stable. “I love you,” he whispered.

“Oh, honey, I know that's right.” Missouri stood in the doorway, her arms crossed.

Dean turned to look at her as Castiel's eyes drifted closed again. “Ms. Moseley…”

“Sugar, you call me Missouri. Now come out here and have a talk with me for a minute. I promise I won't keep you from your boy for too long.” She beckoned him over and Dean thought about refusing, but decided that even as a ghost, she seemed a force to be reckoned with.

He stepped out into the corridor with her, ignoring the living as well as the spirits of the dead that were around them. “Can I help you with something?”

“You got it bad for him, don't you, sugar.” It wasn't a question and was paired with an arched brow.

Dean lowered his gaze and sighed. “Yes, ma’am. It's really complicated though.”

“Seems pretty important though. You been with him a long time, haven't you, honey.” She watched him knowingly and Dean could only nod. “Mhm. I could see that.”

“I've been with Castiel since he was five. Though apparently before that, he was my lover in a past life.” The ache was still there and Dean wondered if it would ever truly go away.

“I see. You two got something pretty special then. Well, I know Castiel will be in good hands. I was hoping that was the case. For me though, it's time to move on.” She smiled at him and patted his cheek. “Take care of each other, sugar. You got anyone on the other side you want me to get a message to for you?”

Deans eyes widened at the question and he nodded quickly. “Please. John, Mary and Sam Winchester. My parents and my brother. Tell them I love them and that I'm okay. Not to worry about me.”

Missouri nodded. “I'll be sure to do that for you, honey. Hopefully I'll see you boys there some day. Not too soon mind you.” She pointed a finger at him in warning then smiled. “Say goodbye to Castiel for me. Such a lovely boy.”

Dean found himself nodding again. “I will. Thank you, ma’am. Good luck to you.” He smiled a bit for her.

She lifted a hand in a wave and turned to walk down the hall, vanishing as she crossed over.

Dean felt a moment of envy, but then turned to look at Castiel, asleep and finally recovering in his hospital bed. The little smile on his lips widened a bit.

They'd definitely be okay.

 


	9. Twenty-five years old.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel is fast approaching a monumental change in his life and Dean is there to see him through it, just as he always has been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the last age progression chapter. We'll remain in the same time period for the rest of the story. I just wanted to give a bit of background for Castiel before reaching this point. Enjoy!

**Twenty-five years old**

 

“Cas, that’s a lot of books.”

 

Cas rolled his eyes as he started putting books on the shelves in front of him, organizing everything in alphabetical order. “Yes, Dean, I’m well aware.”

 

Dean was nearby, sitting on top of what was going to be the checkout counter. He glanced around the store. “You think you have enough?”

 

“I’m sure this will be fine to start us off,” Cas said, adding a few more paperbacks to the horror section.

 

The building was small, but Castiel had saved up for years to get his own shop. Right in the middle of town no less. He’d been thrilled to receive the title to the property and all the paperwork done that deemed him ready to open his very own book store.  Turn The Page would be a lot of work to get off the ground, but Cas had already done so much on his own and Dean couldn’t be more proud.

 

Cas had healed up after the wreck, but it had taken quite a bit of time. Several weeks spent in the hospital, then months of physical therapy to make sure the head trauma wouldn’t affect his range of motion permanently. Thankfully, it hadn’t. Dean had been with him every step of the way, literally. Every step. Every stumble. Every setback and every victory.

 

The only thing that was better than seeing Cas walk across a room unassisted for the first time since the accident had been learning that Cas remembered everything from when he’d gone on his little spirit walk. He knew who he’d been, who they’d been, and it had only brought them closer despite the fact that Dean could only be seen by Cas and his mother.

 

Cas never really dated as a result, which worried not only Dean but Naomi as well. Cas insisted time and again he didn’t need anyone in his life. He had Dean. Dean worried that it wasn’t healthy for Cas at all to cling to Dean so much. He deserved a relationship with someone who could hold him and actually be with him. Not a shadow of a past life that couldn’t move on.

 

Dean would be lying if he said he didn’t savor every last second he could get with Cas though. Every smile and laugh. Every “Hello, Dean” and “I love you” that Cas gave him. Cas was never shy about saying that he loved Dean, nor was Dean about returning the sentiment. Cas essentially being Jimmy had affected Dean, yes, but he knew even if that weren’t the case, he’d already loved Cas anyway.

 

The door opened and Cas’ friend Charlie breezed into the shop, interrupting Dean’s musings. She pulled her earbuds out and stuffed them into her messenger bag. “Hey, boss man! Flying solo today?”

 

Cas looked over and smiled at Charlie, shaking his head. “Dean’s over on the counter, but there’s no one else here.”

 

Charlie was the only person outside of Cas’ family who knew what he could do. Cas had been so nervous to tell her the truth, fearing that Charlie wouldn’t want anything to do with him or to work in the store, but instead of reacting badly, Charlie had freaked out in a good way. “Fangirling” as she’d referred to it. Cas couldn’t keep up with all her questions, though he’d done his best.

 

Finally, to prove it to her, Dean had placed his hand on her shoulder. He hadn’t thought her eyes could get any wider than they already were, but Charlie proved him wrong. After that, she swore she would never tell anyone without Cas’ permission and accepted Cas as well as his abilities completely.

 

“Cool. Hey, Dean!” Charlie was her usual cheerful self, slipping off her sweater and revealing the fandom t-shirt of the day which happened to be Doctor Who.

 

Dean chuckled and shook his head. “Hello, Charlie.”

 

“He says hello,” Cas repeats for Charlie’s sake. “We should be able to finish up the rest of the inventory today. I’ve got a few displays in the back for you to put together if you don’t mind.”

 

“Sure thing. I’ll go over the numbers and stuff too before I leave today.” She poked at where Cas said Dean was and chuckled. “Yep. Freezing over here.”

 

“Your hand is currently going in and out of Dean’s chest,” Cas said drily as he stood up and stretched, working out the kinks in his back.

 

Dean rolled his eyes as Charlie grinned mischievously. “Whoops.”

 

“Get to work, Charlie.” Cas wasn’t really ordering her and they both knew it. Charlie’s good moods were always infectious though.

 

“Gotcha.” She took her stuff to the back and did as Cas said.

 

“I’m glad you hired her,” Dean stated after Charlie disappeared into the back workroom.

 

“So am I. She’s been a breath of fresh air around here honestly. I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle all this on my own and she’s got enough people skills for the both of us combined and then some.” Cas broke down the empty box and tossed it toward the large stack he’d been building up all morning as he loaded up the shelves in the store.

 

“Think you’ll be ready to open soon?” Dean slid off the counter and walked toward Cas who nodded.

 

“At this rate I should think so. I set the opening day for next week so we’ll have plenty of time to get everything done by then. All the furniture is in place, computers up and running, inventory being put out now. I’d say we’re ahead of schedule actually.” Cas retrieved a bottle of water from one of the nearby shelves where he’d left it earlier and drank deeply from it.

 

Dean watched him, following a trail of water that slipped down his chin and jaw. They were closer than ever, he and Castiel. And as Cas got older, Dean had finally allowed himself to see more than just the boy he’d watched over all those years.

 

Cas was a man now. The spitting image of Jimmy almost. His voice was deeper, eyes a darker blue, but the physical differences were few. Cas was tall, just a couple of inches shorter than Dean. His black hair was always unruly no matter how hard Castiel tried to tame it. He ran every morning almost and his body was very fit and athletic. Dean had lost count of how many times he just sat and stared at Cas. He was beautiful and his smile lit up a room.

 

Cas discarded the empty bottle in the recycle bin behind the counter and grabbed another box of books. “Time to take my own advice and get to work.”

 

Dean wished he could help aside from sliding a box closer to Cas on occasion, but Cas never minded. He always said he was glad to have Dean’s company. He did what he could through the course of the day, however, even playing a prank or two on Charlie when he had an opportunity to. He was happy when the time came to call it a day, though.

 

Cas and Charlie had gotten a lot of work done and the store was just about ready. The pair of them walked outside after Castiel turned on the alarm, then locked the door once they were out of the shop. Dean stood nearby on the sidewalk.

 

“Okay, Cas. I’ll see you in the morning.” Charlie hugged Castiel, which he returned gently and with a smile.

 

“Have a good night, Charlie. Thanks for all your hard work today.” He leaned back, adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder.

 

“No prob!” She waved and started heading down the sidewalk to where her little yellow Volkswagen Bug was parked.

 

Cas made sure she got into her car okay then turned to walk in the opposite direction. His own car was parked near the end of the street and Cas slid into the driver’s seat with a relieved sigh, glad to get off his feet even if it was just to drive. “What a day.”

 

Dean appeared in the passenger seat. “You did great. Got a lot done.”

 

Cas nodded and put on his seatbelt, then started the car and pulled away from the curb. “Yeah. Now I think I just want to go home, have some leftover spaghetti for dinner, then fall face first into my bed.”

 

Dean chuckled. “That sounds like a plan. Though I hope you won’t go straight to sleep when you go to bed.” He reached over and slid his hand up Castiel’s thigh.

 

Cas glanced very briefly at him, a shiver noticeably running down his spine as he refocused on the road. He could feel the cooler air against his thigh even through his jeans, though he wished he could feel the warmth of an actual hand instead. He never complained when Dean touched him, though. “What did you have in mind?”

 

“Well, I thought I could help you relax after your long and hard day…” Dean said in a low murmur, watching Cas steadily. He had put an emphasis on the “long and hard” and knew Cas had noticed.

 

“I think that could be arranged,” was Cas’ response as he drove to the outskirts of town. He pulled into the driveway of the little house he’d managed to buy the year before. It wasn’t much. Definitely a fixer upper. But Cas had fallen in love with it.

 

He got out of the car, grabbed his bag, then headed up the path to the front door where Dean was already waiting. After unlocking the door and heading inside, he put his bag down. Despite his anticipation for later, he made a beeline for the kitchen and food. Dean chuckled and followed. “Hungry?”

 

“Starving,” Cas said, putting some leftovers in the microwave to heat up. “I don’t mean to make you wait, but it’s been a long time since lunch.”

 

“It’s fine, Cas. Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.” Dean stood beside him, leaning in and brushing a kiss to his cheek that made Cas shiver again, always in a good way. At least Cas could feel him somehow.

 

His words also earned a smile from Cas before he pulled his steaming food out of the microwave. Cas settled down at his little kitchen table and started devouring his food. He wasn’t kidding about being starving apparently. He took a few moments to rinse off his dishes and set them in the dishwasher before turning to look at Dean once he was finished.

 

“Bedroom?” Dean asked, standing near the doorway.

 

“Bedroom.” Cas nodded and started walking down the short hallway. Dean was already there waiting, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Undress for me,” Dean said, a smile on his lips.

 

This aspect of their relationship wasn’t exactly new. They knew they loved each other. The accident had merely given them both a chance to realize they needed to say it. Once Cas was healed and older, things changed. Cas wanted Dean and knew they were as far from a conventional couple as they could get, but they managed. 

 

There had been quite a bit of experimentation until Dean and Cas found ways they could be together that worked well enough for them. Dean never got to experience physical pleasure as a spirit, but he absolutely loved giving it to Cas however he could. He loved watching Cas fall apart, knowing he was the cause.

 

Cas undressed for him, slipping his shirt off and tossing it aside. Neither of them cared where it landed. Dean's gaze moved over Cas’ chest, taking in everything as he always did. Small scars from the wreck, the freckle by his right nipple. Every part of Cas was gorgeous and Dean never failed to tell him that. 

 

The shoes and socks were quickly discarded next. Then they reached Dean's favorite part. Pants and boxers. He grinned as Cas made a slow and seductive show for him, slowly dragging both garments down his hips to reveal the rest of his form to Dean's eager gaze. 

 

When he straightened, Dean looked his fill, taking in everything. Cas’ cock was already half hard and Dean wished more than anything he could wrap his lips around it. He lifted his gaze up so he could look Cas in the eye. 

 

“You're absolutely beautiful,” Dean said, leaving no doubt to the sincerity of his words. No matter how many times he said it, however, he always made Cas blush. It was utterly endearing. “Get on the bed?”

 

Cas nodded, the blush lingering on his cheeks and neck as he crawled onto his mattress. He shifted to get on his back and settled once he was comfortable. Dean moved to lie beside him, gaze raking over his body again. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Cas’ nipple, watching it harden from the chill. 

 

Castiel shivered, but a smile formed on his lips. “I love you,” he murmured, earning a smile from Dean. 

 

“I love you too. Always, Cas. Will you touch yourself for me?” Dean asked, trailing his fingers over the other nipple and earning another shiver from Cas who complied with his request. 

 

Dean watched as Cas trailed his hands over his chest, teasing his nipples and making himself gasp. He knew Cas’ nipples were so sensitive and that Cas just loved having them played with. He wished fervently that it was his hands trailing over Cas’ skin, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t enjoying every last second of the show Cas was giving him. He didn’t intend to only watch though.

 

Cas gasped when Dean shifted, moving to straddle his lower body. Dean knew Cas could feel the drop in temperature and smiled when he leaned down to trail kisses over Cas’ chest. Goosebumps rose on Castiel’s skin as a result and he didn’t miss the fond look on Cas’ face amidst the flush of arousal.

 

Dean saw Cas’ hand move lower, curling around his cock. He heard the groan that accompanied the gesture and the way Cas shifted his hips slightly beneath him as he slowly began to stroke the shaft.

 

“Beautiful, Cas. Tell me how it feels?” he whispered, trailing his hands over Cas’ skin, wishing for the millionth time he knew what it felt like beneath his palms.

 

“Good…” Cas replied breathlessly, closing his eyes and letting his imagination take hold. “I love it when you touch me, Dean.”

 

“I love it too, baby. Love watching you too. You look so gorgeous spread out underneath me like this. All flushed and eager for me,” Dean purred, his hands sliding over Cas’ sides slowly.

 

Cas moaned, arching slightly at the sensation as his hand started to move a little faster on his cock, using his thumb to spread precome over the head.

 

“Good. Keep going, baby. Don’t stop. Do you know what I want to do next, Cas?” Dean asked as he watched Cas jerk himself off.

 

“What?” Dean could tell it was already becoming difficult for Cas to manage speech. It had been a while since they had done this. Cas was usually too busy with the store or the house and too tired when it came time for him to call it a day.

 

“I want to wrap my lips around your cock then lick and tease the head with my tongue. Would you like that?” Dean reached down, brushing one fingertip over the head of Cas’ dick.

 

Cas nodded fervently, panting and moaning for Dean who continued speaking after Cas managed a response. “I’m going to take you in all the way, Cas. I want all of you. Every inch. I want to feel you all the way in my throat.”

 

“Dean…” Cas moaned, arching on the bed again and stroking himself faster still.

 

“I know, baby. I know. I’d make you feel so good, Cas. I’d move my head up and down, sliding my lips over the shaft. I’d lick up every bit of precome you give me too. I’d love to taste you, Cas. I bet you taste amazing.” Dean leaned in so he could whisper those words in Castiel’s ear, covering Cas’ body with his own. He knew Cas could feel the coolness against his nipples again from the way he whimpered beneath Dean.

 

Not for the first time, Dean found himself cursing his current state, but he let none of it show in either his voice or expression. “That’s it, Cas. You’re doing so well for me. Think you’re close?”

 

Dean received another quick nod from Cas as well as a breathless moan. “Good. Keep going. Come for me, Cas. I want to see you.”

 

Cas gave Dean exactly what he asked for, arching and crying out on the mattress as his release spilled onto his stomach and hand. “Dean!”

 

Dean was enraptured, blatantly staring as Castiel fell apart beneath him. “Beautiful. You’re so beautiful, Cas. I love you so much,” he murmured, whispered praises soft in Castiel’s ear.

 

Cas slumped onto the bed, panting heavily, but he was smiling widely as he looked up at Dean. “I love you too, Dean.”

 

Dean returned the smile then leaned in and brushed a kiss to Castiel’s lips, such as it was. Then he shifted to sit on the edge of the bed again so Cas could get up once he was ready and get clean. He was pleased to note it usually took Cas a few minutes before he was able to move again and Dean considered it a job well done every time.

 

Finally, Cas rose from the bed when the feel of drying come on his skin was just too gross, padding barefoot over to the small master bathroom. Dean heard water running, then Cas returned a few minutes later, his skin all scrubbed clean and free of come. He slid under the covers with a grateful sigh, wrapping his arms around his pillow.

 

“Stay with me?” Castiel had asked him that question almost every night since their relationship had progressed to...well. Whatever it was now. Dean had never once turned him down.

 

“Always, Cas,” Dean whispered, lying down beside him on the bed so he would be the last thing Cas saw before he fell asleep.

  
Castiel drifted off to sleep with a smile on his lips and Dean guarded his rest just as he had every night since Castiel was a boy.


	10. Shadows creeping in.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean just can't shake his bad feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens! Keep in mind I drew inspiration for this fic from Ghost Whisperer and you might see where it's going. Enjoy. :)

Castiel’s store was doing wonderfully. It had been a rocky start, but two months after opening for business, things were going well. The wide selection was a big plus for customers, but also the very homey atmosphere. Charlie played a big role in things too with her cheerful nature as well as her skill with a computer. She was a genius at online marketing.

There was the occasional odd occurrence within the store, but the customers never seemed to pay them any mind once the initial surprise or curiosity wore off. There had to be a logical explanation for a random book falling off of a shelf or a bit of a temperature drop, after all.

Dean watched it all with pride. Cas had taken a dream and made it into a reality. He'd loved books since childhood and it was no surprise that that love had carried over into adulthood. Dean told him on a regular basis how proud he was of all that Castiel had accomplished with the store. Cas would always blush and give that bashful smile Dean loved so much.

Dean had his own important role to play in the store, such as it was. Spirits had always been drawn to Castiel because of his abilities. So when they came to the store, Dean tried to act as a buffer. He could communicate with them easily, after all. More than once, he'd been able to intercept a spirit while Cas was helping a customer and keep the spirit occupied until Cas was able to speak with them himself.

They had a great system going and Castiel was able to run the store, but also carry on his grandfather’s important work in the meantime. That had always been Castiel’s goal. He never wanted to stop helping the spirits of the dead and Dean admired him so much for it.

Their routine was much the same every morning. Castiel and Dean would drive to the store and on the way inside, Cas would greet everyone he passed, living or dead. There were many ghosts in town, though some seemed content to just linger. Dean would greet them too and had actually made a friend or two in the process.

Then they would go inside to start opening the store with Charlie and continue on with the day as usual. It was a simple life if one didn't mind the whole communicating with the dead aspect, but Cas never seemed to. Cas was happy and in Dean's opinion certainly deserved it.

One similar morning had them going about their usual routine, though Cas made a quick stop at the coffee shop at the corner for some caffeine. He bought his favorite as well as Charlie’s, then made his way down the sidewalk with Dean at his side. They passed both the living and the dead alike and Castiel greeted each of them.

Dean saw one of the friends he'd made leaning against the wall of the barber shop ahead of them and waved. “Morning, Benny.”

Benny Lafitte was a ghost from the Civil War era and hadn't been much younger than Dean when he died. They'd compared notes and Benny had been five years old when Dean died. They were friends now, though, and the former soldier tipped his hat, clad in the army uniform of the Confederacy. “Mornin’, brother. Cas.”

Castiel smiled and nodded. “Good morning, Benny.” He paused on the sidewalk, under the pretense of checking his phone. “How are you?”

“Oh, just fine, thank you, Cas. Just waiting on Andrea. She's run off around here somewhere.” Benny shrugged, hands going into the pockets of his pants.

Benny had actually met Andrea a few years ago according to the soldier. She had passed away in the 1950s and Dean loved to tease Benny about being a cradle robber. The two were rarely seen apart.

“I see. Well, when you see her, tell her we said hello. Have a great day, Benny.” Cas gave a little wave and headed for his shop.

“You as well, brother. Take care.” Benny gave Cas a wave and friendly smile in return.

Dean started to follow him after giving Benny his own wave of farewell, but his friend’s voice drew him up short. “Dean, you gotta minute?”

Dean’s brow arched as he turned back to Benny and nodded. “Of course…”

The laid back, amicable demeanor Benny usually carried was absent now that they were alone. His blue eyes glanced around them briefly before Benny spoke again, his voice lowered. “You haven't seen Andrea, have you?”

“Me? No. I haven't seen her since the last time I saw you two in the square, why?” Dean tried to ignore the little seed of worry that had planted itself inside of him. He wasn't used to seeing Benny so uneasy.

“Because I haven't either.” Benny lowered his gaze and it was apparent to Dean then that his worry was nothing compared to Benny’s. “She said she was gonna look in on her sister for a bit, but I haven't seen her since.”

Dean frowned. That wasn't like Andrea at all. “That's been days though… She didn't cross over, you think?”

Benny shook his head. “She woulda told me if she saw the light, Dean. You know that. And she promised she'd only go if we were goin’ together.”

Sighing, Dean glanced around them. “I'm sorry, Benny. I haven't seen her. CAs hasn't either to my knowledge, but I can check with him for you.”

“Don't go worryin’ Cas on my account. He's got his hands full with that store of his and helpin’ folks like us. I'm sure she'll turn up.” He tried to smile a bit for Dean’s sake, but Dean didn't buy it. “Just do me a solid and keep an eye out?”

“Absolutely,” Dean agreed without hesitation, clapping a hand on Benny's shoulder and giving it a brief squeeze. “If I see her, you'll be the first to know.”

That earned him a more genuine smile from Benny who gave him a nod. “Much obliged, brother. Now go on. Don't keep your boy waitin’.”

Dean waved and went into the store. He saw Cas and Charlie talking, laughing over something Charlie had said. Cas’ smile always made Dean’s heart fill with warmth. He tried to put aside his worry over Andrea and Benny, but he never quite managed to. It lingered in the back of his mind for the rest of the day, like a shadow clinging to him. No matter how hard he tried, Dean couldn't shake the sense that of unease he felt.

Something wasn't right at all.


	11. Vanishing act.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel finally find Andrea, but it wasn't the reunion either of them had ever expected.

The day was cold and overcast. Quite unusual weather for that time of year, Dean knew. He stood at the window of Cas’ bedroom, looking out at the gloomy day with a furrowed brow. 

 

Andrea was still missing. Dean had taken the time to go out and look while Cas was busy at the store. He hadn’t turned up anything. None of the usual lurkers in the square had seen her. Benny had already checked. It was with a heavy heart that Dean confessed to his friend that he hadn’t found out anything new regarding Andrea’s whereabouts. Benny had simply thanked him with a small smile and said he would keep looking. Dean knew he would.

 

Castiel was worried about Andrea’s disappearance as well, but he couldn’t do much to help that Dean hadn’t already done. He tried to comfort and support Benny like Dean had, however. Dean could tell Benny had certainly appreciated the gesture.

 

The weather outside seemed to eerily reflect the uneasy feeling Dean had carried since first being notified of Andrea being missing. No matter how hard he’d tried, Dean just couldn’t shake it. When he wasn’t searching for Andrea or trying to gather some information about her, he was keeping close to Castiel as always. He knew he couldn’t do much to protect Cas, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t at least try. And he would, no matter what it took. Though Dean had no idea what he could possibly be protecting Castiel from, if anything.

 

Castiel was moving about the bedroom, getting ready for the day. Despite his unease, Dean couldn’t resist a fond smile as Cas grumbled about, going about his morning routine. His hair was all over the place, a sleepy scowl on his face when he couldn’t find the sweater he’d just been holding. Dean wordlessly pointed to the foot of the bed where Castiel had tossed it before searching for a pair of jeans. Castiel grunted his thanks before donning the sweater and ruffling his hair up even more in the process.

 

Dean turned from the window and its depressing view to smile at Cas, watching him fondly. “I love you,” he said quietly, breaking up the monotony of sleepy grunts and shuffling from Castiel.

 

Castiel turned to him then, a little smile on his lips. “I love you too.”

 

Getting to the shop didn’t take long after that. Cas drained a cup of coffee almost immediately once it brewed in the office, earning an amused look from Charlie. It was business as usual once the store opened for the day, however.

 

Dean watched Cas as he usually did, going about his work with ease. He helped customers, straightened books on the shelves, spent over an hour on the phone arranging a book signing by a moderately popular author for the near future, all among his other usual tasks. Every now and then, he’d look at Dean and smile. Dean treasured every single one of them.

 

When it came time to close up for the day, Cas and Charlie went their separate ways. It was dark out and the wind was brisk, prompting a shiver from Castiel.

 

“This weather is so weird,” he remarked as he made his way to his car. Dean could tell he was thankful he’d chosen a sweater that day.

 

“It is. There aren’t any incoming storms to account for it either,” Dean mused as he took a seat in the passenger side of Cas’ car.

 

Cas got in the driver’s seat and started the car, buckling his seatbelt. He’d been especially vigilant about wearing his seatbelt since the accident in his teens. Dean swore the little black strap had saved Cas’ life and Cas wholeheartedly agreed. “No. Maybe it’s just a random cold front though.”

 

“Maybe,” Dean said, but he didn’t agree. The weather made him antsy no matter how he tried to ignore it. He settled in for the short ride to Castiel’s house, trying to think of any reason the weather patterns were behaving in such a way, but coming up with nothing.

 

Castiel started the drive home, conversing with Dean about his day as he always did. “Charlie said a little girl came in today while I was at the bank. She was wearing a set of Gryffindor robes from the Harry Potter books. Sounded so cute. I’m sorry I missed it. But her mom let Charlie get a picture of her.”

 

Dean listened halfheartedly and spoke when needed, but it was clear he was distracted.

 

“Dean? Are you okay?” Cas finally asked when they were about halfway home, taking the highway near the woods.

 

“Hm? Yeah, Cas. I’m fine. Sorry, I’m listening.” Dean looked over at him and offered a smile.

 

“Are you sure? You seem really distracted.” Cas glanced at him briefly before refocusing on the road.

 

“Yes. I promise.” Dean reached over, laying a hand on his thigh. Cas wouldn’t feel the cold of him much through his jeans, but knew he would appreciate Dean’s gesture all the same.

 

Cas’ lips curled into a little smile at that as he drove, but then his foot slammed down on the brake, stopping the car suddenly. They didn’t crash, thankfully. Dean was loathe to ever have a repeat of that experience. He followed Cas’ wide-eyed gaze to the road and saw a ghost standing there, right in front of their car. Cas would have driven right through her if he’d kept going.

 

“Andrea!” Cas was out of the car a second later, the keys left in the ignition. Dean was quick to follow, standing in front of Andrea a second later.

 

Andrea Kormos had died a young woman. She was lovely and had easily captured Benny’s heart. Each time Dean and Castiel encountered her, she had a smile for them. Yet this time, the look on her face was nothing but fear.

 

“Andrea…” Dean kept his tone gentle, like he was dealing with a frightened animal that would bolt at the slightest provocation. “We’ve been looking for you. Benny’s been looking for you. Are you alright?”

 

She looked between them, brown eyes filled with that lingering fear that only made Dean’s unease grow. “I don’t know. I… I just managed to get away…”

 

Cas looked concerned. Understandably so. He took a careful step closer to her. “Andrea, what happened to you? You’ve been missing for days. We’ve all been so worried about you…”

 

“Days?” She seemed caught off guard by that information. “I had no idea…”

 

“Andrea. Can you tell us where you’ve been?” Dean prompted again, trying to get her to focus.

 

Andrea met his gaze again, looking shaken. “I went to check in on a relative and… There was a man. He… I don’t remember. All I remember is the man and it being so dark and cold for a long time. I felt so weak.”

 

Cas’ brow furrowed. He and Dean shared a glance before he looked to Andrea once more. “The man, Andrea. Do you know who he was? Could you tell us what he looked like?”

 

She started to shake her head in response, opened her mouth to speak, but instead of words, what came out was a scream as she was suddenly ripped away, into the woods. It happened so fast that if Dean blinked, he would have missed it.

 

“Andrea!” he called out after her, but Cas was already running toward the woods, through the brush and fallen leaves. “Cas!”

 

“Andrea!” Cas called out for their friend as well, searching as he ran through the trees, but not finding anything. It was far too dark to see much of anything and Dean followed Cas quickly, wanting to stay close just in case.

 

Dean noted with a growing dread he couldn’t explain that the wind was picking up, the limbs of the trees shaking from it, their leaves rustling wildly. “Cas, stop!” he tried to call out, but Cas didn’t listen.

 

Cas ran past a tree with low hanging branches and Dean watched one of those branches move in a way that could never be attributed to the wind. The branch reared back and slammed into Castiel’s back. The impact sent him tumbling forward onto the uneven ground. The sound of surprise and pain he’d made was cut off suddenly and Dean’s dread increased tenfold.

 

“Cas!” He crouched down by him, seeing blood from a cut on Castiel’s head, right by his hairline. “No. Not again. Cas!” Dean felt that terror he’d never wanted to feel ever again rushing through him when Cas didn’t move. For a moment, he looked around frantically, like Cas’ spirit would be standing beside him once more like it had when Cas was seventeen, but there was just Dean.

 

His thoughts raced. Dean didn’t know what to do. There wasn’t much he could do as a ghost. He couldn’t administer first aid or even check for a pulse. The panic was clawing at him and Dean was doing his best to fight against it, but he knew he’d lose the battle sooner or later. It was Cas, after all.

 

He wanted to cry with relief when he saw Cas’ chest rising and falling slowly once Dean forced himself to focus past the panic. Cas couldn’t stay out there, though. He needed medical attention and it was far too cold. Dean had to find a way to either wake Cas or get help, but how could he do that?

 

Castiel’s mother, Naomi, could see and hear him, but she’d moved out of town a few years ago. Even if he went to her, it would take her hours to get to Castiel. The only other people he knew were dead just like he was, except for…

 

“Charlie…” Dean said aloud, glancing around like the woman would suddenly appear out of nowhere as if he’d summoned her. No such luck, however. He shook his head slightly and reached out, resting a hand on Cas’ back. “Hold on. I’ll be back soon…”

 

Dean closed his eyes and went back to town. Charlie had a little apartment over the coffee shop in the square. He found her in her living room sitting at a rather elaborate computer system. She seemed to be playing a game of some sort. Dean wasn’t sure what it was, but he didn’t care. He saw her shiver when he appeared in the room and figured the temperature had to have dropped a bit with his arrival.

 

He thought of how best to get her attention given he couldn’t just talk to her like Castiel could. Dean had to think quickly though. Cas needed help. He made the lights flicker to get her attention and saw her sigh when it killed the game too.

 

“Ugh. Figures. Just when I was about to kill the Lich King again.” She put her headset down, then glanced around the room when the lights flickered again.

 

Dean wracked his mind, trying to think of anything else he could do to get her attention. He saw a cabinet with glass doors, the shelves inside lined with books. One of them was a guidebook of the state that Castiel had given to her when she said she was new in town and didn’t know much about the area. Perfect.

 

He reached out and opened the doors, hearing the little shriek of fright from Charlie when she saw it.

 

“Oh god! Okay! Um… Look, if you’re looking for someone that can help you, it’s totally not me, but I can point you in the right direction,” Charlie said, sounding like she was close to freaking out when Dean made the atlas land on the desk in front of her. She darted back away from the desk, her chair falling over in her haste.

 

He opened the book and quickly turned it to the page with the woods, leaving it open for her to look at. Her brow furrowed, but she didn’t seem to get it. Dean felt his frustration build, the lights flickering with it. He made the picture Charlie had of herself and Cas on the desk move across the surface, closer to her. It was from the day the store opened. Charlie had wanted a picture of them to mark the occasion.

 

“Cas?” Charlie was confused, but Dean could tell her mind was already working. He just needed to push a little more. He tried to think of what else he could do and made a pen float up out of the cup of writing utensils on the desk. Moving it over to the map, he drew an X on the map, around the location he suspected he’d left Castiel. Beneath that, he wrote in unsteady lines  _ Help Cas. _

 

Charlie’s eyes widened. She was pale as she watched everything Dean did, but finally, he could tell he’d gotten through to her. “Oh god. Dean? Is that you?” His response was to underline his words on the map twice. “Shit. Okay... “ She rushed to put on her shoes, grabbed her coat, keys and phone along with the atlas, then was out the door.

 

Dean could only hope they got there quickly as he went with her. She was on the phone as she raced to her little yellow car, talking to emergency services.

 

“Hello? Yes, I think my friend needs help. He’s in the woods outside of town and I think he’s hurt,” she was trying to explain as she drove toward the highway Dean and Cas had taken on their way home. It wasn’t long before she found Cas’ car, still in the middle of the road where he’d left it. “His car is here in the road, but he’s not in it,” she continued to explain after she jumped out of her own car and moved to look into Cas’.

 

Charlie glanced toward the woods and Dean moved behind her, using what strength he had to literally give her a push in the right direction. She yelped and stumbled a bit, but kept talking to the operator as she moved quickly into the trees. “He went off the road into the woods. I’m trying to find him now. It’s just past the two mile marker on the highway.”

 

Finally, after ten minutes, she found him. Cas hadn’t moved, but he was still breathing. Charlie relayed their location to the operator and soon, paramedics were there. Dean’s relief was almost a tangible thing. Cas was being loaded into the ambulance and Dean couldn’t see his spirit anywhere. He dared to hope.

 

Charlie watched worriedly as the ambulance drove off, clutching the atlas to her chest. Dean stood beside her for a moment and rested a hand on her shoulder. She looked over at her shoulder with wide eyes and Dean hoped she could see it for what it was. He was thanking her in the only way he could. 

 

“Dean?” He let the pressure of his hand on her shoulder linger for a few moments longer before he was gone, following Castiel to the hospital.

 

After Castiel’s car accident, Dean decided he hated hospitals. Now was certainly no different. Especially when Castiel was the reason he was there. He stood by while Castiel was treated, ignoring the other spirits around him that lurked in the hospital. They’d either been there for ages or were spirits of the newly deceased. Dean couldn’t help any of them. Didn’t want to without Cas. He knew that was a terrible thought, but without Castiel, Dean just lost the drive to care. Without Castiel, he would have likely become one of those ghosts that wandered around aimlessly, barely even existing anymore.

 

It took more than an hour for Castiel to be settled into a room. He hadn’t woken up the whole time, but the doctors were watching him closely for which Dean was grateful. From what he heard of their discussions, they expected him to wake up at any time. He had a really bad bruise forming on his forehead, but the doctors believed he would be fine.

 

Charlie arrived not long after and was allowed to see Castiel once he was in his own room. She glanced around once she was alone with her unconscious friend, but when she spoke, it was clear she didn’t expect that it was just her and Castiel in the room.

 

“Dean? Are you here?” she asked quietly, glancing around from her spot in the chair by Castiel’s bed. She’d claimed it almost immediately and was holding Cas’ hand gently in her own. Dean made the lights flicker briefly in an attempt to answer her. He could tell the gesture still creeped her out a bit, but a small smile formed on her lips. “Figured you had to be. They said he’s going to be okay. I had his car towed back to his house so he won’t have to worry about that when he wakes up.”

 

Dean put his hand on her shoulder again and saw her smile grow a little wider as a result. He listened as she talked quietly to him, recognizing that she just needed someone to speak to so she could let out all the fear and worry she’d carried since Dean had first come to her apartment earlier that evening. Dean was content to listen as they both watched over Castiel.

 

The staff tried to make Charlie go home when it began to get late, but she insisted she was the only person in town that could be considered Castiel’s family given his parents lived several hours away and he had no other living relatives. They finally conceded to let her remain and Dean smiled a bit to see her determination as well as her devotion to Castiel. Charlie was an amazing friend and Dean wanted to make sure Castiel heard all about how she’d helped them that night.

 

Charlie fell asleep a little while later in the rather uncomfortable looking chair so Dean sat on the edge of Castiel’s bed with nothing to distract him from the events of the night. Something or someone had done this on purpose. Dean was determined to find out who and why. He hadn’t seen anyone in the woods with them. The tree branch looked as if it had moved on its own, but Dean knew that wasn’t the case. 

 

The sound of loud beeping and alarms in the corridor drew his attention. With one last glance at Castiel, Dean rose to his feet and wandered into the hallway. In the room directly across from Castiel’s, a group of doctors and nurses were working frantically to revive the patient in the room’s only hospital bed to no avail. Dean could already see the old man’s spirit. The man gave him a little smile along with a nod, which Dean returned. Then he was gone. Just as simple as that. Dean almost envied how easy the man had crossed over, but whenever that envy reared its ugly head, he thought of Castiel. Cas was always worth staying for.

 

As the staff cleared away their machinery and equipment, Dean wandered over to the bed, staring down at the body. He looked as if he was merely sleeping. Dean was glad the man had been granted a peaceful death. Not all were so fortunate, he thought wryly to himself.

 

“Rest in peace,” Dean murmured, reaching out to lay a hand on his shoulder. With a jolt, Dean’s eyes widened as his hand went through and into the body. His soul felt like it was trying to latch onto the body as if it were his own. The monitors beside the bed started to beep, like there was life registering once more. Dean vaguely heard the staff all coming back to investigate, but he jerked his hand back as quickly as he could and the monitors fell silent once more.

 

The effort of pulling his hand back took far more than he thought, but for that brief moment he’d felt something when his soul connected with the corpse. He’d felt...almost alive. His eyes were wide as he tried to process what just happened to him, but Dean couldn’t make sense of it. A ghost couldn’t just inhabit a body like that. Like it was a vessel just waiting to be taken over. The whole experience left Dean more shaken that he cared to admit and he hurried back to Castiel’s room.

 

Everything was as he’d left it minutes before. Had it only been minutes? It felt like far longer. It all felt like a whirlwind of events to Dean from the time Andrea appeared in the road to now. It seemed like so much had changed. Dean was left with nothing but his thoughts for hours, but by the time morning came, he was no closer to figuring out what had happened. 

 

The day was still overcast as was the day before, but Dean would have given anything for the circumstances to be like they had been twenty-four hours previously, with Cas sleepily shuffling around his bedroom yet still giving Dean those sweet smiles he loved so much. Everything was drastically different this morning. Dean hadn’t moved from his spot on Castiel’s bed save to lie down beside Cas, curled up against him. The goosebumps that had formed on Cas’ skin afterward were a strange comfort to Dean. As if on some level Castiel knew Dean was there.

 

Doctors and staff came and went throughout the course of the night, but Dean hadn’t paid them any attention save to make sure there were no changes for the worst in Castiel’s condition. He was still pressed against Castiel’s side when the man finally began to stir. It was a slow process. Just the shift of a finger or his eyes moving beneath their closed lids. Yet to Dean, each movement, no matter how miniscule, was a sign of life.

 

When Castiel finally opened his eyes, Dean smiled brightly, relieved to see those gorgeous blue eyes once again.

 

“Good morning, beautiful,” Dean murmured, pressing a soft kiss to Castiel’s cheek.

 

Cas gave a quiet groan, likely from the headache Dean knew he had to have thanks to his head injury. The sound had Charlie waking, her gaze moving to the bed immediately to check on her friend.

 

“Cas!” she cried, so excited to see that he was awake, though she immediately looked regretful when he winced. “Sorry,” she said quickly, voice noticeably lower in volume. “Dude, you scared the shit out of me.”

 

“Charlie? What happened?” Cas murmured, voice rougher than usual from disuse.

 

“You were out in the woods. Fell and hit your head,” she explained, reaching for his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “You’re in the hospital now. The doctors said you’re gonna be just fine though.”

 

“It wasn’t just a fall, Cas. It was done on purpose,” Dean interjected, anger filling him again at the thought that something had hurt Cas like that intentionally. It made the lights flicker again.

 

Cas’ brow furrowed slightly when he saw it and his blue eyes strayed around the room like he was looking for something. The words that followed terrified Dean more than he could have ever imagined.

 

“Where’s Dean?” Castiel asked. Yet he was looking right at Dean. Dean could tell something was wrong since Castiel’s gaze wasn’t focused on him though. He waved a hand in front of his face, but those blue eyes didn’t follow the gesture.

 

“Oh god…” Dean whispered, the heartbreak that filled him utterly intense and devastating in its intensity.

  
Castiel couldn’t see him anymore.


	12. Never alone.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel has lost his gift. He and Dean must face the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I can say about this chapter is: *offers tissues*

Castiel couldn’t see him, but Dean was there when the realization hit him and it hurt.

 

Charlie had merely shrugged when Castiel inquired about Dean. She never could see him in the first place, so she had no clue where he was, even if he was in the room with them.

 

All the while, Dean stood by Castiel’s bed fighting back the panic that wanted to overtake him. He’d never dreamed something like that could happen to them. Castiel’s ability to see and communicate with the dead had been the only bright spot in Dean’s afterlife, giving him the chance to find someone and fall in love again. He hadn’t thought he could ever be so lucky.

 

Now he was shaken to the core. Cas couldn’t see him. Couldn’t hear him. It left Dean with no idea of how to proceed.

 

Castiel was shown the terrible truth of his situation when Naomi Novak came to see him in the hospital. Charlie had been kind enough to contact Castiel’s mother to let her know he was hospitalized and the older woman had wasted no time making the trip into town to see her only son.

 

Cas smiled when he saw her, the bandage and bruising on his forehead standing out against his skin. It made Naomi tut quietly and brush her fingers through Cas’ dark hair.   
  
“You’re quite a sight,” she fussed, but in that way that mothers did when they were attempting not to show just how worried they truly were.   
  
“You didn’t have to come all this way, Mom.” Despite the token protest, Dean could tell Castiel was pleased to see his mother again. It had been a few months. Since just before the shop had opened for business.

 

“Hush. I’m retired, Castiel. I have nothing but time on my hands. Certainly enough time to come to my son when he’s hurt and needs his mother.” She straightened the blankets on his bed next and Cas let her with a fond smile on his lips.

 

Dean had stood back when Naomi arrived. They had formed a grudging respect as well as an agreement over the years that Dean being around was in Castiel’s best interest despite the fact that Naomi didn’t care for her own gift or the fact that she had passed it onto her son, courtesy of her late father. Yet now, Dean wanted desperately to speak to her. To see if she could help find out what was wrong and how they could fix it. Spending the rest of his afterlife without being able to simply communicate with Cas wasn’t an existence he wanted to face.

 

Finally, Naomi quit fussing over Castiel long enough to glance at Dean, yet still spoke to Castiel. “I see you’ve got Dean here to look after you though, so there’s that at least.”

 

Dean watched Castiel’s brow furrow with a slight wince at the gesture, his gaze darting to where he’d seen his mother look. “What? No, Dean’s not here. I haven’t seen him since I woke up…”

 

Naomi looked confused and pointed directly at Dean. “Castiel. Don’t be silly. He’s standing right there.”

 

Dean shook his head, his grief evident in his voice when he spoke at the same time Castiel did.

 

“He can’t see me anymore.”

 

“Mom, Dean’s not here. I would know if he was.”

 

Naomi focused her attention fully on Dean, the concern on her features evident and so welcome as far as Dean was concerned. “At all?” she asked Dean who shook his head.

 

“Not since he woke up, no. I haven’t left his side the entire time and he can’t see or hear me. I’ve tried to talk to him and nothing.” He felt that panic clawing at him again and had to force it back down.

 

“Did the doctor’s say anything about brain damage?” Naomi rose from the bed and approached Dean who could see Castiel’s expression slowly becoming something akin to fear. The realization was sinking in that his mother was in fact speaking to Dean, yet Castiel couldn’t see or hear him like he’d always been able to before.

 

Dean shook his head again. “No. They mentioned a concussion after Charlie left, but that’s it. So I don’t understand what the hell is going on, but he’s had no clue I’ve been here this entire time.”

 

“Dean…?” Castiel’s voice was small in a way Dean hadn’t heard it since Cas was a child and Dean felt his heart breaking all over again. Cas was looking around Naomi uncertainly, but Dean could see that fear and wanted so badly to tell him everything would be okay. The truth was, he had no idea if it would be or not and Dean absolutely hated it.

 

Dean stepped around Naomi, immediately going up to Castiel. He reached out and gently rested a hand on his shoulder, watching as Cas’ blue eyes widened when he felt the faint sensation. They just as quickly filled with tears.

 

“Dean? Oh god, you’ve been here this whole time and I can’t… I can’t see you… I didn’t know…” One by one, the tears started to fall. Dean kept his hand where it was, offering the only comfort he could in their current situation.

 

Naomi moved to the other side of the bed where she’d been previously, reaching out to stroke Castiel’s hair. “Castiel. Deep breaths.”

“Tell him we’ll figure this out. It’ll be alright,” Dean said to Naomi, gaze pleading with her to speak for him when he couldn’t speak for himself.

 

“Dean says this will all get sorted out,” Naomi said to her son, giving Dean a nod. They hadn’t always gotten along, but in that moment, Dean was so damn grateful for Naomi Novak.

 

Dean could see that Castiel was trying to focus on his mother’s words, but he knew the struggle that Cas was facing. He felt the exact same way, after all. They’d been around each other every day for over two decades and though time didn’t matter much to Dean in the grand scheme of things, it did to Cas who was still very much alive and able to experience its effects on a person.

 

Dean had watched Castiel grow. Had fallen in love with him even before he knew that this wonderful, amazing man was the same he’d died for all those years ago. They’d shared so much together and Dean couldn’t imagine not sharing anything more. The heartache was real as he moved his hand from Castiel’s shoulder to his cheek.

 

Castiel closed his eyes tightly, bringing his hand up to his face and putting it where he felt Dean’s. “How, Mom?” he asked in a thick and wavering voice.

 

“I’m not sure yet, Castiel, but we will somehow. Now I want you to calm down and try to get some rest. You’re still on the mend. Dean and I will be right here with you.” Naomi sent Dean another brief glance and he could only nod in her direction. There’s nowhere else Dean would have rather been.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Days later, Castiel stood in the town square. He’d been released from the hospital into his mother’s care and Dean could tell he was happy to not be there any longer. 

 

Naomi got a room in town and came over each day to help Castiel around the house, cooking meals or doing simple housework despite her son’s protests that he could easily fend for himself, head injury or no head injury. The Novaks came by their stubborn streak honestly at least. Dean could have almost been amused by it if not for the constant ache he carried each time Castiel went to look for him or say something to him only to recall that he couldn’t see or hear Dean at all anymore.

 

Dean had a system, however. He touched Castiel more. As much as he could. A hand on his shoulder or cheek. A caress to his hair. Anything he could think of to offer Castiel the reassurance that even if Cas could no longer see him, Dean would never leave him. Each gesture earned a sad smile, but Dean knew in some small way it helped and that was all that mattered.

 

They’d had further testing done before Castiel was released from the hospital, but no brain damage had been revealed save for the concussion he’d suffered. So they had no idea how to explain Castiel’s sudden loss of his abilities, but it wasn’t as if Naomi could just mention it to Castiel’s doctors like she’d bring up any other concern for her son’s health and well-being.

 

Yet as he watched Castiel standing in the square, looking around him for some sign, anything at all really, that told him a spirit was there, Dean wished so badly that Naomi could have mentioned it to the doctors. That wouldn’t have ended well. Castiel looked so discouraged, so sad, as his gaze drifted around, looking in all the spots he knew the regulars as he called them lurked. All he saw was the living, many of whom greeted him.

 

He looked right through Benny. Right through the old woman who always talked to her son in the coffee shop even though her son had no idea she was there. He didn’t see the cowboy on his horse crossing the street up ahead or the young lady skipping down the sidewalk with a bonnet covering her golden hair. They all greeted Castiel when he walked past and each looked confused when Cas offered no response. 

 

Benny was the first to ask, seeing the distraught expression on Castiel’s face. “What’s wrong with Castiel?” he asked Dean after his greeting to the blue eyed man had been seemingly ignored.

 

Dean couldn’t hide the pain in his voice when he answered. “He can’t see us anymore.” Me, he wanted to say. He can’t see me anymore. But he knew Benny heard it anyway.

 

“How’s that possible, brother? He’s always been able to since he was just a little thing runnin’ around with skinned knees chasin’ after his granddaddy….” Benny looked outright confused and concerned. Dean was just grateful to have someone else to talk to aside from Naomi. Someone who understood what it meant to be invisible.

 

“You heard he got hurt, right?” Dean asked, resting his hand on Castiel’s shoulder again to reassure the man when Dean saw that tears were threatening to spill once again.

 

“We all did. Had a few folks askin’ ‘bout him while he was laid up in the hospital. Figured you’d be with him, though,” Benny said, looking between Dean and Cas.

 

“Something happened when he got hurt. I don’t know what. But he’s lost his gift. I have no idea if he can ever or will ever get it back.’ The admission hurt so badly and Dean knew that Benny could tell it did. It had never been a secret how deeply Dean cared for Castiel. He’d certainly never bothered to hide it. Cas had saved him from a fate worse than death: eternity alone. 

 

“Damn, brother… I’m real sorry to hear that. You let me know if there’s anythin’ I can do, all right?” For Benny to offer that even when Dean knew he was so worried about Andrea’s disappearance made Dean appreciate his friend that much more. But the thought of Andrea drew him up short and Dean knew he had to tell Benny what he and Cas had seen that night on the road.

 

“I should have come to you sooner, but with everything that happened with Cas…” Dean shook his head then focused on Benny again. “We found Andrea. The night Cas was hurt, we found her in the middle of the road while Cas was driving home. She didn’t seem to know where she’d been. We didn’t get to talk to her much before it seemed like something just… I don’t know, Benny. It seemed like something dragged her away. Off the road and into the woods. Cas ran after her, but then he got hurt.” 

 

Benny listened, his blue eyes widening slightly as Dean recounted the events in the woods, even glancing in the direction Dean spoke of briefly as if he would go there himself as soon as Dean finished speaking, but Dean continued.

 

“What happened to Cas was done on purpose, Benny. I saw it happen. Something pulled a big tree branch back and sent it flying right at Cas. I don’t know who or what it was, but I’m wondering if it had something to do with Andrea. Maybe she was bait. I don’t know. I can’t help thinking that there’s a lot going on here we don’t know about yet and it gives me a really bad damn feeling.” Dean glanced at Cas who was making his way to his store, shoulders slumped as he walked.

 

Benny’s features had formed an uneasy expression as he considered Dean’s words. “I heard some things too. Things I didn’t wanna pay no mind to at first. But now I’m startin’ to wonder. I heard Andrea ain’t the only one of us that’s gone missin’. Folks are playin’ it off, sayin’ maybe they just crossed over, but like I told you, I know Andrea wouldn’t go without me. So maybe these others haven’t crossed over either. Maybe the same thing that happened to her, happened to them too.”

 

One mystery after another, but Dean couldn’t shake the feeling it was all linked. The disappearances. Cas’ injury. Something wasn’t right at all, but Dean had no idea how to deal with it. He shook his head slightly and looked at Benny again. “You hear anything else, you let me know. We have to figure this out because at this point, whatever it is, it’s a danger to both the living and the dead.”

 

Benny nodded. “Can do, brother. You take care of Castiel. Tell him we got his back.”

 

Dean gave his friend a small smile at that. “Thank you, Benny. I’ll see you later.” He turned to walk down the street, following Castiel’s path to the shop. He paused just outside, looking in. Castiel stood behind the counter with Charlie and thankfully the shop was empty save the two of them because Castiel looked so upset. He entered the store just as Charlie gathered Castiel into her arms to hug him tightly.

 

“I looked through the entire square. Not one spirit, Charlie,” Cas was saying as Charlie rubbed his back.

 

“Cas… I’m so sorry. I wish I knew what I could do to help.” Dean could see the truth of her words in Charlie’s features. He truly liked Charlie. She was an amazing friend to Cas and he was thankful that Cas had her there to support him through this.

 

“I don’t know what to do. I’ve never not been able to see them before. Helping them is such a huge part of my life. Of who I am. Who am I if I can’t do that anymore?” Cas murmured, his eyes closing tightly.

 

“You’re Cas Novak, that’s who. That’ll never change. You’re a guy who cares about others so much and would do anything you could to help someone in need, alive or dead. With or without the ability to see and talk to spirits, Cas, you’ll always be you. You’ll always be amazing to me and to everyone else that knows you, no matter what.” Dean loved Charlie for those words and couldn’t resist squeezing her shoulder gently in his usual silent expression of gratitude. It earned a small smile from the redhead.

 

“I think Dean agrees with me,” she murmured to Cas who huffed a quiet but shaky laugh, hugging her tighter.

 

“He’s biased,” Cas attempted to joke, but the effort fell flat.

 

Cas lingered in the store for a little while longer before Charlie outright demanded that he go home to rest like he should have been doing. Cas was reluctant to leave. Dean knew Castiel hated being idle, but the doctor had told Castiel to take it easy for at least a week. Even if Dean couldn’t make sure Cas did as he was told, he knew Charlie and Naomi would because it was what was best for him.

 

Finally, Cas relented and walked back home. Dean saw the way his gaze continually strayed around him, still searching. He reached out and placed a hand on the small of Castiel’s back, leaving it there the entire trip back to his little house. He hoped the walk would help Cas clear his head at least.

 

When they reached the house, Naomi was there and scolded Castiel for going out when he should have been recuperating. Cas took it all in stride and gave in, relaxing on the sofa while Naomi bustled about the kitchen to prepare a simple dinner for them before she returned to her hotel room for the night.

 

Cas ate, satisfying both Naomi as well as Dean when he cleaned his plate, then saw his mother off. When she drove away, he locked up for the night and made sure all the lights were off before he went to his bedroom.

 

Cas had told Naomi after his first day back at home that the silence was the worst part. The silence meant he was alone. It was a sensation Castiel had never truly been used to thanks to all the years spent with Dean at his side. He’d never truly been alone. Dean had made sure of that.

 

As Cas got ready for bed, Dean lingered in the room, watching over him. Then Cas went to stand in front of his bedroom window, clad in a t-shirt and flannel pajama pants. He stood there, looking out into the night, his internal conflict written clearly on his face. Dean reached out for him again and wrapped his arms around Castiel from behind.

 

Cas couldn’t see it coming and was startled a bit, releasing a surprised little hiss at the sudden cold at his back and around his waist, But then he closed his eyes and all the tension seemed to drain out of him. It was a brief respite from the whirlwind of emotions Cas was still trying to sort through, but Dean was grateful to even be able to give him that much.

 

“I love you…” Cas whispered, eyes remaining closed. It seemed like he was trying to memorize every single sensation caused by Dean’s touch and Dean imaged he’d be doing the same exact thing had their situations been reversed.

 

“I love you too,” he whispered in Cas’ ear, bringing one hand up to rest over his heart. “You will never be alone.”

 

Dean would always be with him, whether Castiel could see him or not.

 

Unbeknownst to the pair, something lurked outside, looking in at the two of them from across the street. The pain was visible on both Castiel’s face as well as Dean’s.

 

And in the dark, it smiled at the sight.


	13. Person of interest.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The disappearances continue and hit far too close to home for Dean’s liking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, let me apologize sincerely for how long it’s taken me to update this story or even write anything in general. I’ve had a very long and difficult year. My health took a turn for the worst. I was recently tested for cancer if that gives you any idea. Thankfully it came back negative.
> 
> I lost my direction with this story for a while, but I think I’ve found it again. We’ll see. I can’t promise regular updates, though I will certainly try my best for you. Thank you if you’ve stuck with me this far.
> 
> More angst in this chapter, but I wanted to give you something to show I’m serious about finishing this piece. I hope you enjoy it.

The disappearances continued.

Each day, Dean noticed other spirits were absent as he went through the town at Cas’ side. It was unnerving to only see the living with so few ghosts around to greet as he normally did.

The weather pattern continued, cold and dreary when it should have been warm and pleasant. Even the other residents of the town couldn’t help noticing and commenting. The weather man on the local news station seemed completely stumped by it. Dean could relate.

He watched Cas go through his days almost like he was on autopilot. The store took up much of his time and Cas seemed intent to bury himself in his work. Like he couldn’t face the constant reminder that he could no longer see spirits. Could no longer see Dean.

Dean noticed in the days after Castiel’s accident that the random ghosts who would come to Cas for help stopped appearing entirely as well. He found himself wondering more than once if they, too, had disappeared. Andrea hadn’t returned either. Not since that night in the woods when everything had changed. Dean was still convinced the poor woman had been used as bait.

When Cas worked in the store, Dean used the time to try and get answers. Benny had been doing the same. The general consensus from the spirits that remained painted an eerie picture.

Ghosts were disappearing. Even the ones that seemed content to linger before. The weather had worsened as the disappearances increased. A fact that Dean had failed to pick up on until another spirit pointed it out to him. It all continued to drive it home to him that Castiel’s injury was no accident.

The little girl with the bonnet in the square was gone. So was the cowboy. Each day, someone else was gone and Cas’ gift showed no signs of returning. The injury was mostly healed and once given a clean bill of health by the doctors, Naomi had left, promising to do what she could to help Cas from home. She had Chuck’s journals and intended to look through them in an effort to find anything she could to help her son.

Charlie was supportive as ever, always going the extra mile for Cas to try and help him as much as she could. Even after Castiel’s return to work, Charlie insisted he take it easy, even go home early some days. Cas never really listened though. He needed to work, he said. Needed something to take his mind off of things. To feel like he had a purpose again. His words broke Dean’s heart.

One evening while they were at home, Cas sat at his kitchen table, the room dimly lit and a mug of tea cradled between his hands. His blue eyes stared down into the steaming liquid like it held all the answers he so desperately sought, his brow furrowed as he breathed a quiet sigh. Dean reached over to place a hand on his shoulder and knew Cas could feel him through the thin fabric of the t-shirt he wore.

Cas turned his head slightly, looking down at his shoulder and where he should have seen Dean’s hand. He closed his eyes briefly, as if gathering his courage, then spoke, his words disrupting the depressing silence of the house.

“Dean…” Cas’ voice was rougher, thicker with emotion. “I miss you. I know you’re still with me, but I miss you so much. I wish i could still see you…”

Dean wanted that too. More than anything in the world. Cas wouldn’t be able to hear any comfort he could offer, so Dean moved his hand from Castiel’s shoulder up to his cheek, cupping it gently. He heard Castiel’s breath hitch before he continued speaking.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to see you again. Or hear your voice. It breaks my heart, Dean. I love you so much. I can’t imagine a life without you by my side. But i want you to do something for me. I want you to try to find a way to cross over. I don’t want you to have to spend the rest of my life with me if I can’t even see or hear you. You don’t deserve that.”

The words were difficult for Dean to hear. Just as difficult for Cas to say. Cas didn’t let that stop him, though.

“I know whatever happened to Andrea is still happening. I can feel it. I don’t know how, but I can. I think the weather has something to do with it too. Whatever’s going on, Dean, I don’t want you to be a victim of it too. I want you to be safe in the light. You’re in danger here. Just like all the other spirits are. So you have to cross over. It’s the only way to keep you safe. I can’t do anything to protect you if I can’t even see or hear you.” Cas reached up and ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t notice the tear slipping down his cheek.

There was really only one response Dean could give to Castiel’s request. He reached out to the pen sitting on the table nearby and made it rise into the air. He waited for Castiel to notice. Then made the pen write on a pad of paper it was laying beside.

 _No_.

Dean refused to leave Castiel, no matter any potential risk to himself. Ever.

Cas had to have known that would be Dean’s answer. His shoulders slumped and he heaved a soft sigh of resignation, gaze lingering on the two letters Dean had written. So Dean wrote a few more.

 _I love you. You’re stuck with me_.

The words earned a soft sob from Castiel who reached out to brush his fingers over them, as if in touching them, he could touch Dean as well. “You stubborn ass…”

Dean smiled a bit, sadly, then let the pen drop back down onto the table. He shifted to lean into Cas and pressed a kiss to his cheek, sealing the promise.

Once that had been settled, Cas went up to bed. He hadn’t slept well since his gift disappeared, but each night, Dean stayed with him regardless.

Four days after his doctor had given Castiel the go ahead to return to work and a week and a half after the injury occurred in the woods, Dean noticed with a sick feeling of dread that Benny was gone as well.

He looked everywhere for his friend. Asked any spirits that were left if they had seen him. No one had. Their fear was evident, worried that they would be next to vanish without a trace. Dean couldn't blame them. He kept close to Cas, ever watchful, his paranoia unyielding with every second Benny remained missing. Someone or something was taking them and doing God only knew what. He was convinced of that.

Then, two days after Benny disappeared, Dean got his first real lead in a big way.

Dean was in the store with Castiel, waiting for Cas to finish going through the nightly closing routine for the shop. It was dark out, the weather gloomy still with only the street lamps on outside to give any illumination against the chilly night. Cas prepared the bank deposit to be dropped off in the overnight drop box while Dean lingered at the counter.

Castiel was not the only one startled when the lights started rapidly flickering before shutting off entirely, the store plunged into darkness. Dean could see the fog of Castiel’s breath and knew the temperature inside had dropped also.

“Dean?” Castiel called out uncertainly, gaze darting around the inside of the dark shop.

Dean immediately went to go comfort him even though he was on guard, but stopped in his tracks when Benny was suddenly in front of him. The former soldier stood in front of Dean looking terrified, his eyes wide. Dean had never seen him look that way before.

“Benny? Where have you been? What the hell happened?” He asked, stepping closer to his friend, his worry and fear only building with the way Benny looked.

“Dean… Oh Lord. You gotta help me, brother. It’s bad. Real bad. He’s takin’ ‘em all and the ones that don’t wanna side with him he…” Benny trailed off, shaking his head.

“What are you talking about, Benny? Who?” Dean reached out and gripped Benny’s shoulders.

“The man in black. He wants us all on his side. If we say no…” Benny closed his eyes tightly. “He wants all the ghosts. Every last one. And he’s after Cas, brother. He wants him real bad. You gotta keep Cas away from him.”

Dean thought the unease and the fear couldn’t get any worse, but Benny’s words quickly proved him wrong. He glanced toward Castiel who was still looking around fearfully, clueless as to what was happening. Then he refocused on Benny. “Tell me everything you know.”

“Soon. I promise. I can’t be gone long or he’ll be mad. He thinks I’m out collectin’ for him,” Benny said quickly, that fear lingering in his expression and gaze.

“When?” Dean pressed, desperate to know more of what was going on.

“Soon,” Benny said again. “I gotta get back, Dean. I’m sorry. Stick close to Cas. Don’t let him outta your sight, brother.”

Dean cursed when Benny vanished and the lights came back on.

Cas was still searching, still calling out for him. So Dean went to his side and wrapped his arms around Cas, felt the way the man jolted slightly in surprise before he relaxed. “Dean?”

“I will keep you safe,” Dean whispered to him as unanswered questions along with a fierce urge to protect surged through him. “No matter what it takes.”

Cas couldn’t hear him, but the quietly given promise helped Dean feel a little better at least.


	14. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A spark of hope can be a light in even the darkest of times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am bound and determined to finish this story, I swear! It’s been a struggle for a while now with health issues and such, but I promise you, this will not be abandoned. Encouragement never hurts however. If you’re enjoying this, please let me know. It will really help me keep going. Thank you all!

Cas was getting headaches.

Dean noticed as time went by that they were happening. At least once a day. Each time varying in intensity according to Cas. He’d taken to talking like he could still see Dean. Which he couldn’t and they both still hated so much. And during these one-sided conversations, he spoke of them in passing. Not that Dean failed to notice Cas taking aspirin to help with the symptoms.

After the fourth consecutive day of Cas having yet another headache, this one leaving him in bed for most of the morning, Dean managed to use enough of his energy to write the word Doctor on a piece of paper and made sure Cas saw it by putting it on his chest.

Cas sighed and finally conceded. “All right, Dean. I’ll schedule a follow up.” It was a relief to see Cas give into the request, but Dean was still scared all the same. They’d been through so much and he just wanted Cas to have some peace. To heal. Whether it meant he ever regained his gift or not. The thought saddened him more than he could express, but Cas’ well being always came first over Dean’s feelings.

He listened as Cas made the phone call to schedule his follow up appointment with his doctor, letting his hand rest on the man’s shoulder. He knew Cas would feel it, however faintly, even if it was just in the form of a cold spot on his shoulder. But at least Dean could offer support somehow and he was grateful for it. Even knowing he was helping Cas still despite everything was a comfort.

The appointment went without a hitch, however. The doctor ran tests as they seemed to always do in Dean’s opinion, but nothing of concern showed up and he told Cas that his best bet was to rest and take it easy for a few more days. Dean was more than a little annoyed by the end of the appointment and the entire office was chilly because of it. The lights even flickered once or twice. Cas didn’t seem bothered by the visual indications of Dean’s emotions, however. If anything, he seemed just as displeased with the results as Dean.

Charlie was a bright spot for the both of them as always when she found out about the headaches herself. Her concern was immediate and she suggested the same thing as the doctor, but also offered up a ton of suggestions of things Cas could do to relax. Most of them included popular movies and books, of which he knew Cas had already watched and read several times over.

The truth of it was, Cas was going stir crazy. He felt nothing like himself. Like he was just going through the motions of his every day life as he confessed to Dean later that night after he had settled into bed. 

“I can’t see or hear you anymore. Or the others. I feel like this huge part of me is missing and I know no amount of rest or relaxation is going to fix any of this. I hate it, Dean. I feel like I’m lost and just going through doing everything I used to do day after day because it’s what I’m supposed to do. But my heart isn’t in it anymore,” Cas admitted into the shadows of his bedroom as the moonlight drifted in through the curtains. If Dean had had a heart left, it would’ve been broken hearing the melancholy in Cas’ voice. All he could do was touch him again. Caress his cheek softly with his thumb. He smiled when Cas leaned into him.

Cas did try reading as Charlie had suggested, but not novels. Instead, he spent hours pouring over Chuck’s old journals, trying to see if he could find something, anything, that could help him. He would grouse quietly whenever Dean tugged on a shirtsleeve toward the fridge to remind him he needed to eat, but he was never serious about the complaint. He always went and made himself a sandwich or something to tide him over until the next mealtime when Dean would remind him once more to feed himself.

“Did you know there’s another way to help a ghost cross over?” Cas suddenly asked into the quiet of his living room on a gloomy Saturday afternoon. Each day was just as gloomy as the last and it worried Dean given the weather seemed to be coinciding with the disappearances of other spirits. He couldn’t really answer Cas’ question, but Cas plowed ahead anyway, reading from the journal page in front of him.

“You can get them to cross over of their own free will, but in the case of malevolent spirits that you need to cross over by force, you can find their remains, pour salt over them and then set fire to them. I had no idea. He never once mentioned this…” Cas mused as his blue eyes quickly scanned the written words. “He preferred getting them to cross on their own, but it says he had to salt and burn some a few times over the years…”

Dean’s brow furrowed as he listened to Cas. He’d been dead a long time and had no idea that was one way to get rid of a ghost. It seemed strange he’d never once heard that mentioned from any of the other spirits he’d encountered, but then again, Dean hadn’t exactly been the social sort until a dark haired little boy had found him all those years ago. The memory of little Castiel brought a soft smile to his lips and he couldn’t resist stroking a hand over the adult version’s hair. He filed the salt and burn information away for later, however.

Dean was appeased later the following week when it seemed Cas’ headaches were at last starting to become less frequent. The first day he went without one, Dean considered a victory and Cas certainly seemed happier for it. He’d taken to keeping an over the counter bottle of painkillers with him at all times before that just to help take the edge off until he could lie down. But that first day with no pain had a little smile on Castiel’s lips the entire day. He even managed a full shift at the store the day after. Dean certainly wasn’t the only one happy about that. Charlie was gleeful to have her pal back to keep her company.

It was around the one week milestone of not having any headaches to speak of when it finally happened.

Cas sent Charlie home early from the book store, stating that she had more than earned an afternoon and evening off after covering so much for him since his injury. She was glad to accept the offer, but insisted that Cas call her if he started feeling poorly again, to which he reluctantly promised. 

Things were a little slow in the afternoon, so Cas was walking up and down the shelves, doing a bit of straightening up as well as restocking where needed. Dean, ever his shadow, was at the end of the aisle, watching quietly. Cas was putting a few books on the shelves when Dean shifted, walking to the other side of the aisle and crossing in front of the window in the process. 

It was then that Cas blinked and turned, looking exactly where Dean had just walked, his brow furrowed. Like he’d seen something. Pausing in the restocking, Cas walked to the end of the shelves and peered out around him. Aside from himself and Dean, the store was empty. 

“Dean…?” Cas asked, a hesitantly hopeful tone in his voice that Dean couldn’t fail to miss. “Was that you? I could swear I saw a man walk across the aisle out of the corner of my eye. Are you there?” 

Dean quickly reached for him, sliding a hand down his arm to assure him he was indeed still there. And he couldn’t deny the hope that he felt blooming in him as well.

“Was that you I saw?” Cas held his hand out. “Touch me again if it was.”

Dean couldn’t resist leaning in and brushing Castiel’s lips with his own, a cold, but sweet kiss. Yes, it had definitely been him! The wide smile that formed on Cas’ lips as a result was a joy to see.

The moment was broken, however, by the sound of the bell on the door jingling as a customer entered and Dean stepped back to let Cas return to work, though his excitement made him want to keep holding him for much longer. Cas seemed in much the same predicament, but he quickly crossed into the open part of the store to greet the person who just entered. Dean heard him talking and a man’s voice answering, but that voice sparked his curiosity. There was something about it…

As he traced Castiel’s footsteps, following him toward the front of the store, the customer came into view and Dean stopped right on the spot. His eyes widened. 

Tall. Long brown hair. Dressed in jeans, flannel and a Henley. Dean would know him anywhere, but he’d never expected to ever see that face again.

“Sam…”


End file.
